Slumber Variations: An Analysis of Sleeping Postures Attempted After a 4 a.m. Trip to the Bathroom

Introducing Mrs. Sandman.

1. No.

2. What? No.

3. Maybe this one will — No.

4. Really? No.

5. Nope.

6. Ain’t happening.

7. Let me just. No.

8. Wait… wait… wai… No.

9. If I just … Nope.

10. In the immortal words of Si Robertson: “Nnnnah.”

Notes:

1. Subject complained of heartburn AND heartbreak from spectacularly shitty barbecue from a Brooklyn restaurant.

2. Despite substantial amount of Bed Poodles, subject seemed unaffected by their presence.

3. Subject also complained of thirst, but too lazy to go get wa...