A to Z Challenge: D is for Despair

Welcome to the 2013 A to Z Challenge!
This year, I’m focusing on two themes:  Emotions and grammar,depending on which letter we’re on each day.

I’ll be sharing mostly what I’ve learned about writing emotion into a novel, but I’ll also be throwing in a few key grammar lessons, pet peeves I’ve picked up while working as an editor.

Today’s an emotion day!
__________
D is for despair:  the loss of hope; hopelessness; to lose, give up, or be without hope
There is probably no worse feeling than despair.  It comes in all shapes and sizes and is relative to our life experience.  I’ve certainly experienced it, but I’m sure it was nowhere near as bad as what some people live through.  Regardless, it affected me just as adversely as it would anyone else in any situation.  When hope is lost, no matter the reason, nothing else matters.
When writing about despair, which I did extensively in my novel, The Mistaken, it’s best to tackle it gradually, building it up over time, day after day, like weight being added to the character’s shoulders until he eventually breaks under the pressure.  That’s part of what makes despair so debilitating.  Everyday, you wake up realizing nothing has changed, or it’s only gotten worse, and that’s one more brick you have to carry.
You have to be concrete when writing about despair, no clichés or heavy-handed melodrama.  I found comparison works well.  Have the character reflect back on a time when life was good, when he had expectations, then show how it’s changed, what he’s lost, and how nothing will ever be the same.  Below are two short passages from my novel:
At first, it gave me some relief to savor the vision of retribution. Yet, I always woke up the next day with the realization that Erin Anderson was still alive and well, walking the earth, enjoying her life, enjoying her family, while my wife was not, while my child lay eternally buried in Jillian’s cold womb six feet beneath the heavy earth, a tiny speck of immeasurable possibility heartlessly quashed into nothingness...
... Alone now, I sat back in my chair with a full bottle of tequila and drank. With my mobile phone in hand, I played Jill’s last voicemail message on an endless loop, over and over, until I could recite it perfectly, word for word in pitch and tone...
There are many physical characteristics to show despair—rocking back and forth, hugging the body, scrubbing hands down the face, the list is endless—but one of the best ways is to have the character act out in ways he never would have otherwise, pushing him over the line. Desperation often drives people to do things they later deeply regret.