"Your Honor, that's when I killed her."

My habit of baiting my husband goes back to the very beginning of our relationship. I've never before met a man who is A) so literal and B) takes himself so seriously.

He's practically begging for it.

Mr. Snark is a few years older than Mrs. Snark so he's an authority on pop culture. Mrs. Snark don't know nuthin'.

"Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is very obviously a drug song," Mr. Snark said. 

"Don't be ridiculous. The Beatles didn't sing about drugs."

One eyeball turned toward Mrs. Snark and glared. "LSD.  Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. The initials stand for LSD." DUH

 Mrs. Snark snorted. "Everyone knows the song is about an Australopithecus fossil they found in Ethiopia."

"You're fucking with me, aren't you?"

or

"I think it's a shame they didn't have the budget necessary to colorize the opening of the Wizard of Oz," Mrs. Snark said.

"That was a stylistic choice! It was done on purpose."

"Don't be silly, dear."

Mr. Snark spent the next twenty minutes trying to convince his wife that the opening black-n-white sequence had been done with intent. Eventually, however, his eyes narrowed and he said, 

"You're fucking with me, aren't you?"

Of course, there are times when Mrs. Snark doesn't even have to work for it.

"Dear, will you grab my wine glass? It's over by my computer."

A second later, Mr. Snark returns clutching Miss Bear's tippee cup full of milk.

"Why did you bring me milk?" Mrs. Snark asks. "I don't drink milk."

As Mr. Snark flushes red, Miss Bear rushes over with her hand out. "My baba, Dada."  DUH

"Dada is going senile, Miss Bear.  And yes, Mr. Snark, I'm fucking with you."