Where do you like to do it? The perfect environment for writing smut

So where, exactly, do you like to do it?

What do you picture if you ever wonder where your favourite erotica authors do their work? Some exotic boudoir, perhaps? Or sitting on the sofa in an oversized t-shirt with Jeremy Kyle on in the background? I'm sure some of us do work in these settings.

I know writers who like to shut themselves away, and can only work in perfect peace and quiet. Some love to have music playing while they work - even particular playlists for each kind of scene or story; others find all that far too distracting.

Some have a separate office to work in, while others work at whatever the modern equivalent is of the typewriter perched on a corner of the kitchen table.

For me, one of the greatest changes in my writing practice came with the advent of wifi and cloud computing. Equipped with my laptop, I can work pretty much anywhere. If there's wifi that's great: I can check my email and chat with friends on Facebook whenever I take a small break from the writing. If there's no wifi, then I can use my phone as a mobile hotspot and still have that connection to the outside world.

More importantly than staying in touch, having that connection means that I can back up everything to the cloud (Dropbox, in my case) while I'm working and so never have to worry about losing my work to a computer crash or a laptop thief.

I do a lot of work in my office space at home, of course, but I do like the freedom to roam, and in particular I like that it lets me feel a bit naughty when I'm writing. I love that when I'm working no onlooker has any idea what's taking place on my screen. For all they know, I could be typing up the next church newsletter.

Sitting with my large coffee in a Starbucks or Costa, tapping away at my keyboard as the world passes by, I am most certainly not working on the church newsletter. As you walk past and maybe smile at me I'm far more likely to be writing about the feel of a cock as it goes from soft to hard ("Every cock's different: the way it feels, the way it responds, how it changes as it gets hard."), about stiff nipples being pinched and squeezed, about giving in to urges that most of us have but rarely act on ("Jess had this thing she did. Something she did when she just wanted cock. Different cock.").

Sitting on the train, in my smart work clothes, typing on my iPad ("Do you like it rough? I think you do, don't you?") while around me people do the crossword, stare at the passing scenery, and maybe even crane to see what's on my screen ("Consent? What does that mean when you've been chained and fucked for hours and you only want more?").

So next time you see someone tapping away at a laptop keyboard in a public place, just think: yes, they might be writing the church newsletter, but more likely than that they're writing about something hot ("She reached down and undid the tie at the side of her bikini bottoms"), something steamy ("Do you think about me when you fuck Susannah?"), something that's turning the writer on as she works (all those little shifts in position, the hand in the lap, the slight flush to the cheeks).

I think "writing the church newsletter" will become my new favourite euphemism for writing erotica. There aren't many church newsletters where you could write, "Like I say, I'm a bitch. A slut. Right then, I was his slut." - but if you know of any, do please let me know.