It's Here, It's Live, It's...terrifying.

I'm sitting here in front of my computer and I'm afraid. My stomach feels like a butterfly circus. My heart feels like it shakes as it beats, and my neck and back are tighter than Brad Pitt's abs in "Thelma and Louise." I don't think I'll sleep tonight or tomorrow night, and if I do my sleep will be haunted by disappointed faces and bad reviews.

I've felt like this every time I've released another book. I am always terrified that I've made a huge mistake, that I will fail monumentally, and most of all, that I will disappoint someone who doesn't like the story I chose to tell. And this time, this feeling is magnified because the new book, A Different Blue, is not squeaky clean. It has bad words in it. It talks about a word that rhymes with next...without the T at the end. It is not a teeny-bopper book. Parents: Please read it first before handing it to your teens. My son Paul says the book is sufficiently clean, and I am overreacting. But I'm a dramatic woman. That's what I do.

That being said, I still hope you will read it. It's a book about redemption. It's a book about sinners and saints and love and loss and starting over. It's about real life. And unfortunately, to tell some stories, you have to be authentic...and life is not squeaky clean. So this is a warning and a plea, of sorts. If you hate the book....can you please wait a couple weeks to post a review until my absolute terror ebbs a little?

I'm kidding. Sort of.

Sincerely,
Me