Can I Tell You a Story?

Lets say you were married and had two kids, and lets say you had me over for dinner, a young writer whose books you enjoy. And lets say after dinner you put the kids down, and I end up reading them a story. You go back into the kitchen and start doing the dishes, and I sit there by your kids and tell them a really dark, creepy, perhaps inappropriate story. Lets say I tell them a story that no kid should really hear.

Of course, I'd never do that. I'm no creep. I only say that because the truth ...