Old Flames… It’s Cool If We’re Friends Right?

Athol:  Married dude calls up old flame to discuss things. To his great surprise it’s like stepping into a emotional Narnia as everything comes flooding back. They talk for 4.5 hours on the phone.

Thus the question…. is it possible to keep this on a friendship level?

Er…… no. No it it isn’t. It was a mistake to even call her.

HamsterMan:  No, it wasn’t a mistake.  Calling her up cleared up some mental crap I had been carrying around for a long time, so that was an unalloyed good.

My intentions are completely honorable.  Geography makes a Physical Affair impossible.  I don’t want an Emotional Affair.

Is there any way to get into the friend zone?  Lol, when did people start to want that?

Athol:  Well, okay. If you kill her sexual interest in you, it could work. Maybe you can…

Call her up and start talking about dolphins getting caught in tuna nets and cry for 10-15 minutes.

Talk about how when you watched Bugs Bunny as a kid, and he dressed as a girl bunny, you felt confused inside.

Tell her you have erectile dysfunction.

Drunk dial her at 245am her time. And 310am. And 325am. And 430am. On a Monday.

Have your wife screaming in the background of the call that you need to go to the store to pick up tampons for her.

Mention your colostomy bag keeps falling off. Your insurance was denied and now you have to use ziplock sandwich bags and they’re hopeless.

Call collect. Then ask her for money.

Use the joke, “Yes, but why is the rum gone?” seven times in the same phone call. Then text her it twice.

Ask if she’d consider making a healer for World of Warcraft.

Tell her you jizzed in your pants thinking about her. Two weeks ago. During a funeral.

I mean you realize when she Friendzones you, she’s not going to take your calls right?

What’s the point of this exercise?

No. No you can’t.