Giving Back

I’ve often found life to be a cruel entity among good people.  The light shines one day, and the dark smolders for seemingly days on end.  What exactly is it?  Are we in Hell now?  I don’t think so, but I tend to believe that Hell glows its dark, ominous shadow on all of us at one time or another.  What does that mean?  Is there a Satan that haunts our days and nights with the perplexing penalty of all of the mistakes we make?  Does Satan give us tests we have to endure in order to make it to the “Heaven” we’re all told about countless times in religious circles?

I truly think that our attitude dictates the life we live here on earth.  The good and kind things we act on as humans can undoubtedly supercede the evil that permeates around us.  I believe spirits are swirling within our aura; watching, wondering and expressing fear, anguish and hope with each decision we make.  I also believe they cheer with each correct path we follow.  Life is a game we cannot win, folks.  We all end up in the same place….six feet under.

When we doubt ourselves, we create confusion within our spiritual realm.  Both good and bad end; which side do we want to be a part of?  We’re a blur in the big picture.  Our lives are specks among galaxies and wide-open space within the universe.  I want to feed the good side and spend my after-life enjoying the spoils of my kindness.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of being negative; but I’ve turned that around.  We make plenty of mistakes and the secret is to learn from them.  If we don’t, we risk an afterlife of repeating them.

I truly feel that after we die, we gain freedom.  When I say freedom, I mean freedom from the torment that may have engulfed us as living creatures.  A lot of people lead very happy and care free lives, some haunted and scary.  Depending on your attitude, or your way of looking at things, the afterlife will follow suit.  It took me a very long time to figure out what it was I really wanted from this life, but I’ve successfully found it:  Giving back.

Many people go through this world and work from 9-5 at some ill-begotten job, wondering what else there is.  I have news for you:  Look hard and try to find exactly what makes this life NOT boring.  I was bored and decided I’d had enough.  Bosses yelling at me, along with fellow employees being  gossipy and empty made me feel like there was someting better.  I also hate being bored.  I need constant stimulation.  (Perverts back down please).  I decided to write for a living.  I love it and I’m happy, but there is still more.

My mom is suffering from inoperable cancer and her days are numbered.  This woman birthed me, raised me, and put up with a lot of shit from me along the way.  How can I give back?  By carrying her to bed when she’s tired.  By showing her that she raised a son with a deep moral appreciation for what she’s done along the way.  I need to be close to her and with her when the end comes.  No, not the end of existence, but the end of this Hell we call life.  I want to give back, pay it forward and be the son she expected when she raised me.

It’s a calling, people.  A need to be there; a need to help ease her pain and give her comfort.  The woman is a gem; now I need to be the diamond in return.  We  get what we give and we reap what we sow.  Why can’t I give what my mother gave me?  Is it so tough?  NO!  She will not die in vain.  I love her and she’ll be comforted until the very last day of this life.

Can you do the same?  Can you give what was given?  Can you reach out to someone who needs you so desperately?  Please think hard about it.  Death is a part of life and we need to accept that.  We need to care for those who so lovingly cared for us.  Give it back people; pay it forward.  I heard my call.  Will you hear yours??

Filed under: MOM Tagged: Care, death, give back, life