the tyrrany of a face

the tyranny of a face

hers was an ass

sticky from

laxatives

yet lenny kravitz

and anthody

kiedis

and i

wanted it

she started

with inserts

and local tv

she sold

seafood

and

underwear and

herself

the blonde

dream

men conspired

with

on the toilet

her ambitious

mother

pushed

the idea

of the bodily

saw the house

the bmw

and a boyfriend

for herself

her sweetheart

shoved her

against

her locker

and sent

his tongue

deep

he couldn’t

say hello

in any other

language

when

daddy

said

let’s play

he meant

go down

into

the basement

and wait

until i’m

done

i couldn’t

overlook

the carrots

and my eyeballs

rolled

off the runway

as i listened

to her

tell me

how ugly she was

the women, the magazines

model citizens

underfoot

her friends

seducing me

behind her ass

we shared

a place

when she

was not

standing around waiting

she leaned on

the spoon

and put

on

her boots

with a smile

that was

aggression

she watched

me

from the couch:

“you’re too generous

with your time

and money. i think

you’re getting

sick.”

i said:

“i’m the opposite

of you. everything

looks bad on me.”

before my eyes

her beauty

faded out

on an ugly mind

and mouth

sports illustrated

never called

and a couple years

later

she overdosed

in the company

of

rehab buddies

wrung out

by vanity

and the failure

to perpetuate a flash

i don’t think

of her

when i jerk off

just see her

whenever

i smell vomit