CANNOT believe I’m about to defend Moffat…

Yesterday on Twitter, several of my newer followers decided to complain about David Moffat’s writing being “creepy” on Doctor Who because Moffat has now written three companions whom the Doctor has met first as children. In one companion’s case, he gave her a bicycle, and this was further proof of Moffat’s creepiness. One of these poor souls even declared, “It’s very problematic when all the companion’s relationships start with such a power imbalance.” Oh for the love of…NO. They don’t have a valid complaint here. People may be entitled to their opinions, but it is possible for an opinion to be so ignorant that it deserves open ridicule. This is one of those opinions.

I’m not a fan of the new Doctor Who shows, but even I have seen enough from watching old shows plus new pilots to know that people making these claim are flat out full of shit. I’m not even going to mince words, because of all the real problems people could point to in Moffat’s writing, they chose to hit on the LEAST problematic part. I will explain.

First, let me talk about the “age issue.” My God, some people really are hung up on couples only getting together if they’re exactly the same fucking age. You must think I’m sick as fuck because my husband is 15 years older than me, but I’m one of those freaky creeps who believe that true love doesn’t care about age. I also believe that love and sex are completely separate things, so it is possible to be in love with someone younger without it being creepy or inappropriate. When I find a relationship creepy is when someone obsesses over a certain age as their criteria for sexual arousal, and then I don’t care if the obsessed person is into looking at kids, the middle aged, or the elderly. The fact is, their sexual objectification comes over any genuine emotion, and that is totally creepy. I think those people need therapy.

But look, ageists, the Doctor is thousands of years old. Even if his companion was 99, they would still be a child compared to him. And if his companions were 99, they’d be dead from heart attacks by the middle of an episode for all the times the Doctor has shouted “RUN!”

There’s also no way you could have balance in such a relationship because the Doctor is god in a box. Even if the Doctor’s companion was a bodybuilder trained in 15 martial arts and had two bastard swords strapped to his back, there would still be an imbalance. Even if the Doctor teamed up with Batman, there would still be imbalance because Batman is human, and the Doctor is GOD IN A BOX.

The thing y’all creepy complainers aren’t even acknowledging is, the Doctor doesn’t control where the Tardis goes. The Tardis takes the Doctor where it thinks he needs to be. Now it may be too trite or convenient that the Doctor has somehow met three companions in childhood, and it may serve as proof that Moffat’s writing is a bit sloppy. But it is not creepy because the Doctor isn’t planning these visits. He doesn’t say “Tardis, take me to meet my companion years before they’re ready for our wacky hi-jinx together.” He just ends up in the right place and time to meet them. Which is convenient and trite, and sloppy. But it is not creepy.

Now if the Doctor put his arm around one of his child companions, stroked her thigh in a grooming manner, and said, “One day, you and I are going to travel through time and space on many romp-like misadventures, but for now, I’d just like to make out with you,” THAT would be creepy. Then you’d have a valid complaint, and I’d be with you 100%. But the worst fucking crime you can lay at this ancient time traveler’s feet is, “he gave a companion a bicycle for Christmas.” DEAR GOD, NO! NOT A BICYCLE! You know how bicycles lead to hooligan behavior and premarital sex with time travelers! Oh wait, no. It just leads to bike riding. Considering how often companions have to run for their lives, a little cardio training in their youth isn’t such a bad idea.

Really, these people could complain about Moffat’s cliché dialogue, his recycled crutch catch phrases, his open misogyny against women characters, or his need to turn certain episodes into a long Benny Hill skit only missing Yakety Sax to complete the “tribute.” But they chose to call his writing creepy for something completely innocent. In doing so, they said more about themselves in a few tweets than they may have intended.

And I’ll tell you something else. People these days seem to give more of a shit for the welfare of fictional children than they do for real kids. When Twitter passed around a petition demanding an apology from CNN for mourning the plight of rapists of a drunk teen, there should have been millions of signatures to shame the news anchors, men and women, were in discussing a real life abuse case. But there wasn’t even one million. It’s just not that big a deal to y’all.

There should be howling outrage over a lot of real life abuse cases where a person in a position of authority has power over their victims and uses it to keep them silent. But aside from an initial few folks saber rattling death threats to all “creepos” to ease their conscience for otherwise not giving a shit, folks look away from real world abused children time, and time, and time again. When do people get upset? When a fictional child is treated in a seemingly improper or creepy way. People, I don’t want to be mean, really, but some of y’all got severely fucked up priorities.

Here in this case, there’s nothing to be creeped out by. People who find this problematic are nitpicking to look for something, ANYTHING to complain about, and if you hate Doctor Who that much, DON’T FUCKING WATCH THE SHOW. I’ve not been into the new series because I have a host of complaints about the writing. But I leave my Doctor loving friends be, and I let them enjoy their show and their fandom without nitpicking at them.

Whenever I do hate on a show, lots of people tell me, “If you don’t like it, don’t watch.” Well I have to at least give every show a few episodes as a fair shot. If they blow it, I’ll heed the advice and stop watching. Which is why I haven’t seen any TV show through to the end of a season since Teen Wolf. Yes, I’m a picky, petty bitch. But if y’all are hitting on Moffat for being creepy because he’s conveniently written in three early meetings with the Doctor and his companions, you’re actually more petty than me. And definitely more lacking in the brains department. Which is sad because I’ve got actual holes in my brain that sometimes take away my ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy. I got a mental illness impairing my judgment. What’s your excuse for being this clueless?

AND, if you’re creeped out by a fictional child getting a fucking bicycle for Christmas, do me a favor and don’t read any of my books. Cause I’m easily a hundred times more creepy and problematic than Moffat in my willingness to mistreat and abuse fictional children. Of course, my intention is to show you what child abuse is like from the perspective of someone who’s dealt with all forms of abuse. I’ve lived with other abuse victims and felt a need to share their stories too, and what I’m doing is trying to show you the hell that real world kids go through while adults remain blissfully unaware. I’m TRYING to creep you out and make you uncomfortable about child abuse. What Moffat is guilty of is writing the same trite cliché thrice, and nothing more. If you can find fault with that, your moral compass should be retooled to work better.