We’ve Been Married a Very Long Time

Don’t ask my husband how long we’ve been married because it will start a fight. I get pissy when he doesn’t know the answer. I suppose I might be looking at this the wrong way. He is living in blissful ignorance because I am such a treat. I know the exact count, in years: 18. And a half. That half makes all the difference.

My husband is a very, very good husband. He does all the things a husband is supposed to do, and more. But there are some things he just won’t do. Funny stories for women, t...