Kerry Hudson: Deposhing even the poshest of events...

Hello. I am covered in toast crumbs trying to line my stomach before a 12 noon drinks reception.

I have a nice red manicure. I am moisturised to within an inch of my life. I am still wearing my pyjama bottoms and a hoodie.

In a wee while I’ll put on the black cocktail dress (that’s right people, I bought a cocktail dress) try on the 27 different shades of lipstick I’ve bought to match my ‘can’t believe my luck’ expression, hop into a taxi and go off to the Southbank Sky Arts Awards at the Dorchester where I’m hoping to see Hills continue her blaze of glory. I intend to smile ear to ear, enjoy the grub and bubbles and celebrate every minute of being nominated. 

Also, I’m aware that some of you may think I’m currently in a claw-footed bathtub filled with patisserie in Paris bemoaning my Anglo un-jutting collarbone. In fact, I’m at my kitchen table in my new lovely house, in my beloved Hackney eating lemon curd yogurt. I’m here to stay for a good long while and very happy about it too. 

Ok. I’m off to dance around my bedroom in my pants and curlers…wish me luck!