First and final draft

Somebody recently asked me how much the final draft differs from the first. Great question! Here is a snippet of the first and final drafts:

First Draft

She sat up, her head held high. Alice wasn’t going to win! She thought of Mampalo, and the physiker and the klynaks. They all believed in her, and there was one thing that she was determined to master. But first she had to prove Oban wrong. That wasn’t going to be easy, but she would start now!

When she emerged from the hatch onto the outside de...