How to make nobody look you in the eye.

My other blog JonAcuff.com is full of “how to” type posts. You should read that blog. You would find it delightful.

But very rarely do I give “how to” advice on SCL. That changes today.

Here is how to make nobody look you in the eye when you speak at a church.

Ask if they have seen the show Curb Your Enthusiasm.

It’s really that easy. How do I know? Because I tried this and my joke bombed.

I sometimes tell people about Jesus Jukes when I talk. I do this at the beginning of my talk. (A Jesus Juke is when you’re having a normal conversation and someone tries to juke Jesus in out of nowhere.)

Thirty minutes later in my talk, I tell a story about Larry David, the creator of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I ask the audience if they have seen it. I’d say 99% of the audiences I speak to clap and cheer, acknowledging they have seen it. At which point I say, “I haven’t. It’s on HBO. I’m a Christian. I was too busy journaling. Juke!”

It’s a trap!

But one day, at a church, I tried that joke. I was ready for a big laugh and, when I asked if anyone had seen the show, the place went deathly quiet. No one would make eye contact with me. Nobody said a word. The joke bombed.

I was flustered for a second and then blurted out, “Oh, are we pretending we don’t know HBO exists? I see.”

And then I went on. It wasn’t awkward at all. Not even a little bit.

So there’s a little bit of free wisdom. Want to make sure nobody makes eye contact with you? Mention HBO to a room full of Christians.