Book Review: If You Stay

Book Review: If You Stay (Beautifully Broken) by Courtney Cole


24-year old Pax Tate is an asshole.

Seriously.

He's a tattooed, rock-hard bad-boy with a bad attitude to match.
But he's got his reasons.

His mother died when Pax was seven, leaving a hole in his heart filled with guilt although he doesn't understand why. What he does know is that he and his dad are left alone and with more issues than they can count.

As Pax grew up, he tried to be the kid his father always wanted; the perfect golden boy, but it didn't work. His dad couldn't overcome his grief long enough to notice and Pax couldn't keep up the impossible perfect façade.
So he slipped far, far from it.

Now, he uses drugs and women to cope with the ugliness, the black void that he doesn't want to deal with. If he pretends that the emptiness isn't there, then it isn't, right?
Wrong.

And it's never more apparent than when he meets Mila.

Sweet, beautiful Mila Hill is the fresh air to his hardened frown, the beauty to his ugly heart. He doesn't know how to not hurt her, but he quickly realizes that he'd better figure it out because he needs her to breathe.

When memories of his mother's death resurface from where he's repressed them for so long, Mila is there to catch him when the guilt starts making sense. Mila is the one...the one who can save him from his broken troubled heart; from his issues, from the emptiness.

But only if he can stop being an asshole long enough to allow it.

He knows that. And he's working on it.

But is that enough to make her stay?
My Take: This book hooked me in with the first few pages and didn't let me go until the end. I laughed, and I cried and I remembered a person in my life who dealt with similar addiction issues. Unlike Pax, my POI was addicted. A full-blown alcoholic who sometimes used other things to numb whatever he was trying not to feel. I worried about Mila and whether or not she'd be in the "game" to try and fix Pax or if their relationship would be a co-dependent type situation. It was, just a teensy bit, but it worked for them both. Mila was gutsy and not afraid to do things that should have terrified her. Through it all, it was her love for Pax and the beautiful person she knew was there, buried beneath all of the chemicals. This book is not for those who are afraid to read about sex, love and drugs. If you've ever loved someone unconditionally, in spite of their problems, read this book.

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