Fear by Association

A long time ago, as in once upon a time (think skinnier, younger,…um maybe not quite as wise though) I took upon myself the task of training a formerly abused horse. Well, technically it was a mule.











(Breed a female horse with a male donkey and you get a mule!)





To start with, I had nothing to do with the mule. I would simply stand at the round gate and watch the others, those with experience training such animals, train the mule.



He was skittish. He had been treated horribly and had a general mistrust of people (wouldn’t you?).



Day after day, he would run from their attempts. Soon, we all noticed a pattern with him. He would run to me. He would stand next to me. The trainers watched this happening and had an idea. “Hey, Darlene…why don’t you come in the round pen and try your hand with him. He seems to trust you.



So, into the round pen I went. At first he wouldn’t let me approach him. But, if I would turn to walk away…he would follow. Just like a puppy dog following me around where ever I went.



It didn’t take long before he was eating out of my hand.



I rode him several times in the round pen before taking him out in the open fields. Being the novice that I was in the area of horsemanship, I had no idea of the pain I was to endure.



I was riding him on a lead line when he became spooked and took off at break neck speed. This was no small animal. He was a good fifteen hands and very well built. We were almost to a fence and he had showed absolutely no signs of slowing. I tried to read him. Would he jump the fence? Turn right? Turn left? For some reason (and wrong at that) I anticipated him going left. He went right. I fell down.







While I didn’t break my crown, I did break my pelvic bone. Ouch. I healed. I lived to tell another tale.



He did come nuzzle me while I was lying on the ground. He did not mean to hurt me. It was someone else who spooked him, not me.



Once I healed, I faced my fears and got back on him. I had to.



I have told you this whole story because recently I was reminded of this emotion, this fear that threatened to take away my joy.



I call it the fear of association. I highly doubt that is the technical term. I did try and find one…I truly did.



The fear of sitting a horse that caused pain is a strong association. Horse = pain. That is not too hard to understand.



Other types of fear by association are a little harder to explain. For instance, say you really enjoy shopping at a particular store. One day, upon entering the store, you get into a terrible argument with a friend. Your relationship very well may be damaged beyond repair. From that day forward, your favorite store reminds you of that fight and you forgo shopping there because of that reminder.



Your favorite store is no longer your favorite, not because the quality of their merchandise is diminished, not because their prices went sky high…but simply because of a bad experience that truthfully, the store had nothing to do with.







The other day I found myself driving to a particular place to end a bad association. I enjoy this particular place too much to let an unfortunate happening steal my joy.



Upon walking through the doors…I had to smile. My thoughts that day? I will not allow the enemy to steal my joy and I enjoy this place too much to let it go!



Have you allowed people or things to steal your joy in this manner? It’s time to take back those things that give you joy. Don’t let the enemy steal the blessings God has bestowed upon you!







Thank you for taking the time to grow with me this Wednesday,

Darlene Shortridge, Scribe for Christ







www.BooksByAmanda.com