Manliness

I’m frequently told that I’m, like, this really macho guy.  My nickname in high school was The Michelangelo of Manliness.

Okay.  I might be exaggerating just a smidge.

This week my 2004 Ford Expedition (aka THE TANK, aka THE BEAST) died on me.  The Service Engine Soon light popped on Wednesday night, and Friday morning it wouldn’t start.

The guys at work had me describe the problem and repeat those fatal final sounds THE TANK made:  Click-Click-Click-Click.  Their diagnoses were varied, but the consensus was that it should be jump-startable.

My cars have been fairly reliable since high school.  Back then I owned a couple of real pieces of, well, they were unreliable vehicles.  So it’s been, err, twenty years since I jumped a car.

To bone up on the process, I did a quick search and found this web site: THE ART OF MANLINESS.  Their logo says they are “reviving the lost art of manliness” and the site is chock full of great things, such as how to tear a large phone book in half with your bare hands.

With some borrowed jumper cables (regrettably, I am often ill-prepared for these types of things), I juiced the Expo from our BMW, then deposited it at the mechanic’s front door where it awaits a Monday morning appointment.

Life can be a real pain sometimes.  Thankfully, people and web sites are there to help us dodge all the debris in the asteroid’s wake, so that we can land on the asteroid, drill down 800 feet, insert our nuclear bomb, and blow it apart just moments before it strikes Earth, destroying mankind forever.

Sorry.  We recently watched Armageddon.

Expo…we’ll see you soon, my old friend…BEAST.  And if any of you need to jump start a car, check out that web site, or check your owner’s manual because it’s usually in there, too.