Holmes 3

"Come in," a voice said before I'd even knocked. Apparently the great consulting detective had deduced my presence outside his rooms, possibly from the fact that the stairs squeaked like a dolphin tank at feeding time. I entered.

"Ah, you must be Evil Editor," he said.

"Incredible," I replied. "How did you deduce my name?"

"Elementary, shitstick. You had an appointment. I also deduce that you are American from the colour of your vest."

"Amazing. And I deduce that you are British from the fact tha...