Fuck it, I’ll Walk
Airlines are getting away with way too much in the country. They continuously treat their customers like shit, expose people to invasive exams, get bailed out from the government, and time and time again, they get away with it.
Why? Because people say, ‘well, if you’re going to fly, you need to deal with it.’ Fuck that. I’m calling bullshit.
Why? Because running an airline is a business, people. They need your money. Correct me if I’m wrong, but is there not a single ‘not-for-profit’ airline. They’re not flying people around out of the goodness of their hearts. They’re doing it to make money…YOUR MONEY. And if they are going to do it, the least they could do it treat it like a business and not the fucking DMV.
It’s not ok that they drag disabled 12 year olds through exams and make them cry. It’s not ok that they yank someone’s fucking colostomy back out in front of 200 strangers. It’s not ok that they lock a plane full of passengers down for fucking 18 hours with overflowing toilets. But they seem to think its ok.
You know why they think its ok? Because we tolerate it. And that is just not ok.
In March of 2012, a federal court overturned a New York law that required airlines to provide adequate food, water and clean bathrooms to passengers stuck on planes for over three hours before takeoff.
You know what Essa Alroc does if someone holds her on a plane with no food, no water, and no bathroom, for three hours? She doesn’t take her problem to federal court. She lights a cigarette and punches a stewardess in the fucking throat. Instant arrest and instant release from said plane. Done.
Federal court, you don’t get to tell me that a company that I paid to provide me with a service gets to instead hold me against my will and refuse me water and food. You wanna play that game? Let me break out another game for you. It’s called civil disobedience and I am incredibly good at it.
Best part? Come my court case, I’m walking. Why? Because a jury of my peers, in an Orlando court, is guaran-fucking-teed to hate every airline with a hub in this area.
I’m pissed off tonight because my mother just got back from a week long trip to Illinois. She flew on American Airlines*. Guess how good they did on a scale of one to ten? If you’re answer was negative four, you might be in the ball park.
I know they don’t have any control over acts of god. Yes, weather will turn bad, planes will get damaged. They might not have control over the weather and over unfortunate set backs.
They do have control over how they react to it. To date, their reaction has been piss poor.
When my mom’s plane hit turbulence and was damaged, they were forced to divert from Orlando to Tampa for repairs. Understandable. What isn’t understandable is how they handled it. First, they lied.
“Sorry folks, we just need to gas up in the Tampa hub but we’ll be on our way in minutes.”
Gas up with a plane full of passengers on-board, at a takeoff gate? Really? Correct me if I’m wrong (really, correct me, I could be wrong. I didn’t research this), but are they allowed to fill a plane with highly flammable jet fuel with a plane full of passengers on board? Seems to me that it if I can’t bring a fucking bottle of water past security, they shouldn’t be able to spray down a plane with highly flammable fuel while my mother is on-board.
That’s just me though. I really like my mother and I would hate to see her exploded.
Next, American Airline’s flopped their shitcan of a plane on the ground and told everyone the plane was broken. Had my mother known that the plane was broken, and not just out of gas, she might have called the daughter that drove 45 minutes to pick her up and was waiting in a cell phone lot. No, instead, the ‘ten minutes’ turned into ‘we’re going to bus you all to Orlando, it will only take an hour’.
Another outright lie. Tampa to Orlando is a two hour minimum trip. How do I know? My weed connection is in Tampa. I make the trip on average every two weeks. Driving my standard 111 MPH, I’m lucky to make the trip in 2 hours.
How do I know it was an outright lie and not a mistake?
These people are in the travel business. They know that Tampa to Orlando is 105 miles. Unless they have a bus that is capable of traveling 105 MPH, they told an outright lie. They told an outright lie to passengers.
And then they ignored them.
Following the plane fiasco, everyone was told to go downstairs to wait for they’re bags so THEY could get them and load them on the bus. When the fuck did my barely 5 foot, less than 130 pound mother, get a job as a day laborer on American Airlines? She paid for them to handle her bags, not the other way around.
Unless my mother is a thundercloud, and I’m pretty sure she’s not, she didn’t break the plane. It was not her job to go get her bag and load it onto the shitty American Airline bus.
Also, not really buses. You ever seen an airport shuttle? One of them short buses that looks like a box truck? Apparently, my mother was supposed to ride one of those death traps for two hours on a road that was once labeled “America’s Bloodiest Highway.”
During this entire fiasco, not one representative showed up to explain what was going on. Instead, a bunch of confused passengers were shuttled from room to room, being lied to, ignored, and outright treated like stupid sheep because apparently American Airlines owns the fucking sky and they can do that.
My mother was not offered a discount. She was not offered a voucher for a free meal. Instead, she took $50 out of her own pocket to get a rental car and drive home. I imagine right now, there are still a bunch of passengers who didn’t get rental cars waiting for some disembodied voice at a gate to tell them what’s going on.
Fuck you American Airlines. Would you treat someone you loved like that? Then how dare you treat my mother like that?
Enough is enough. These companies are in the business of making money. They are not flying people from place to place because they’re nice. They are a customer service business and they need to start acting like it. We don’t need to tolerate this shit because we have no choice. We do have a choice. It’s called civil disobedience.
I’m tired of rude ticket cashiers. I’m tired of rude security guards. “Oh, your job is hard. Life is fucking hard. Deal with it.” That’s what I say to people who bitch about working at the airport. Did Essa Alroc show up at your house and demand that you work at an airport? No? You elected to work at an airport? Then act like you care about your job, and not like you’re a fucking WalMart cashier.
I’m done behaving in airports. I have no fear of getting arrested. I’m pretty sure we all know that’s happened before. When I go to an airport, and plunk down $700 for a two hour trip, you will treat me with fucking respect. You will do the job that I paid you to do and if for some reason, you decide not to, I will scream. I will yell and I will fucking demand to be treated with respect. Have your air marshals walk me out if you want, but I’m hoping the passengers behind me get the message.
Fight back, because you tell people how they will treat you. Not the other way around.
I can tell you why you’re going bankrupt, American Airlines. Because you allow your employees to behave like assholes. They are in the business of customer service. That means serving customers. They don’t want to do that, fire them. Also, stop giving your executives bonuses. I think they’ve proven that they’re fucking morons. Hence the whole bankruptcy thing.
Until you all start remembering that the people who pay you outrageous fares are the people lining your pockets, fuck off American Airlines. I’d rather walk.
*Name not changed. Fuck you American Airlines
