Lead me not into temptation, just point me in that direction”

Ben Affleck said: ‘it doesn’t matter that  you get knocked down in life, what matters is that you get up”

I say: ‘It doesn’t matter that you get knocked up in life, what matters is that you go down”

If all men are brothers, then we’re no strangers to atomic wedgies. In a few days I have to go to remember the third Anniversary of my Dad’s passing which should be an intensely sad affair, if not for the numbing effect of it’s surreal infusion of total meaningless ludicrousness-I believe that no problem is so large or so difficult that you can’t hand in your letter of resignation

 - That’s like a thousand days of him not being here…and not much has been produced in his absence…I haven’t written another book or nailed a high school infatuation, or even scaled the top of the Roca Jack in the Andes to ski a ‘No-Fall’ zone….Nope with the exception of a few killer tweets out of tens of thousands and a few good turns in the washroom; there’s been nothing of note

I guess this year out of commission’s highlight has principally been enjoying the bearable lightness of not fucking up… I was born fully equipped with 5 senses, why would I need a sense of accomplishment?

 

So what I’m trying to say is : Always take time to stop and smell the Roses…there’s always a few in the assisted living home…and they don’t mind being smelled…most of them are too senile to notice…yeah ‘wrong hole is the look I was aiming for’ ….Just remember: It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown… and fewer still to pull the trigger”

Yeah it may seem that It’s always darkest before the dawn, and always stubbiest too…and you can’t find the phone to dial 911 and ask to bring the jaws of life and a nail clipper and if they could possibly send over a firing squad to shoot the side of the bed that you stubbed into..if it’s not too much to ask for and maybe a better table one not so close to the restrooms