Finding Peace of Mind

Very few of my friends know this, but I’ve been through a lot these past 3 years. I’ve had to change a lot in terms of the way I think and the way I go about things. Because of this, a lot of things I had planned on doing suddenly got railroaded or set aside. Unfortunately, I was already working on my Rizal project during this time. I’ve already written the entire thing, and had drawn at least 10 pages. And all of a sudden, it all just didn’t feel right anymore. Creatively, I was suddenly in a crisis.

To say the last three years have been life changing would be an understatement. All of a sudden there was so much to think about, so much to worry and be concerned about, so much to do. I find myself unable to move, unable to decide how to proceed. Every little thing sets me off. Suddenly, going to Facebook and reading people’s opinions makes me mad. Same with Twitter. I go out of the house I see all these little lawless things people do and it just makes me livid. Sometimes I just can’t help it and just let off a barrage of rants, almost immediately worried that I have pissed anyone off.

I previously talked about letting go, wondering exactly how the hell I was supposed to do that. Finding peace of mind… how do you do that?

As an artist, the answer should be obvious. I can just perhaps use all of that anger and frustration towards creativity. A part of me is thinking I need this anger to create, to stay relevant, to stay observant. But how do you do that when it just gets in the way of creating anything?

Obviously, there are many things I need to work out. I’m not really looking for advice here, all right? I’m just venting, releasing some frustration right here.