Heart-Break Men, Liar Song Men, I Didn’t Mean to Lie about Being Married Men: Songs from THE COMFORT OF LIES
The more relationships I have in my rear view, the more I organize my exes according to the sad-song scale: heartbreak song men . . . liar-song men . . . I-didn’t-mean- to-hurt you-but-oops-I-guess-not-telling-you-I-was-married-was-a-mistake men.
In The Comfort of Lies, pile-ups in the intersections of infidelity, adoption, marriage, parenthood and careers create perfect storms for desolate love music. I gathered a playlist eponymous of the particular sadness or strength of each character, and, of course, each rang in a past love nightmare of my own–thus creating a personal blues loop, allowing me to fall down the rabbit hole of melancholia, making me ever more grateful that I ultimately smartened up and married a non-sad song man.
1) The Gut-Wrenched Collection
Perhaps I listened to Ayo’s “Down On My Knees” fifty times during one particular revision. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the triangulation of love quite so plaintive and naked as in that song. Like Ayo, Billy Vera and the Beaters brings me to my longing knees with the deal-offering “At This Moment.”
What can I say about Etta James singing “I’d Rather Go Blind” that hasn’t been said before? If you never felt this way, well, not sure if I am happy or sad for you. “Anyone Who Had A Heart” sung by Dionne Warwick in 1964 feels like a wife’s plea—a mix of trembling anger, love, and yearning. I can’t listen to this song without getting a tight chest.
Does the anger of a spurned woman have an equal to Adele singing “Rumor Has It?”
2) The Being Killed Softly Collection
Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me” is a quieter ache-song. Here we have the acceptance of loss, served with a side of whiskey neat. “There’s Always Something There to Remind Me” by Dionne Warwick brings plaintive to the sad song party.
“After The Love Is Gone”: Earth Wind and Fire worships at the corner of goodbye and blame—the song kills me every time. And then there’s “Wake Up Alone”. Oh those dark nights. You sang the hell out of it, Amy Winehouse.
3) Wrong Person, Wrong Place, Out of Sync Collection
What happens when you fall into the arms of the wrong transitional man? Like Patsy Cline you’ll end up singing “Why Can’t He Be You.” And the man left behind will be crying to “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long” along with the great Otis Redding. Couples missing the glittery thwack of love, worry as they listen to “You’ve Love That Loving Feeling” from The Righteous Brothers.
4) Anthems of the Other Woman Collection:
You are not allowed to be the other woman without hearing Whitney Houston’s “Saving All My Love For You” & “Where is the Love” by Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway.
5) Moving on Collection:
In the end, where would furious exes be without “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor, a song needing to be sung and danced to for a few days or months (depending on one’s emotional temperament) before starting over again, with “Let’s Get it On” by Marvin Gaye.
(Originally published in The Large-Hearted Boy)
