"Dream On, But Don't Imagine They'll All Come True"
At the Lords of Leather Ball last night, between being called "sir" several times and having a friend I hadn't seen in a year do a massive double take at me, I realized that -- in this default-queer setting, anyway -- I was passing completely. Which led to the following conversation later:
ME: I just hope cisgendered people take a moment every now and then to appreciate being seen for what they are -- every day -- without having to think about it. Because it's so great.
GREY: Actually, I disagree. Because I've known a lot of effeminate men who were mistaken for women, and a lot of masculine women who --
ME (affecting great crankiness): GOD, you people JUST CAN'T DO IT, can you? You just can't let a trans person talk about being misgendered without going "WELL WELL WELL, it happens to us TOO!!!"
GREY: But it does happen --
ME (raving): I'm sure it does, but I have NEVER EVER heard a SINGLE INSTANCE of a trans person discussing misgendering without some cis person popping up to say "I got called sir/ma'am one time, so I TOTALLY GET IT!!!"
GREY (affecting smugness): Actually, I don't like the term "cisgendered." I prefer "gender-comfortable."
ME: AAARRGBLLHGFHTFHBBQ I AM FILLING OUT A BINGO CARD ON YOU MOTHERFUCKER
Which all made me realize anew: I don't know if it's down to testosterone, getting laid on a regular basis, or just having a partner who can effectively puncture my vapors and pomposities, but I am so much less angry than I used to be. That seems like a counterintuitive effect of testosterone, but maybe if my body chemistry is finally getting closer to what it was always supposed to be ... Come to think of it, most of the FTM guys I've met, both in real life and virtually, have seemed pretty easygoing.
I used to be able to write conclusions, but I can't anymore, so I'm just going to leave this here.
ME: I just hope cisgendered people take a moment every now and then to appreciate being seen for what they are -- every day -- without having to think about it. Because it's so great.
GREY: Actually, I disagree. Because I've known a lot of effeminate men who were mistaken for women, and a lot of masculine women who --
ME (affecting great crankiness): GOD, you people JUST CAN'T DO IT, can you? You just can't let a trans person talk about being misgendered without going "WELL WELL WELL, it happens to us TOO!!!"
GREY: But it does happen --
ME (raving): I'm sure it does, but I have NEVER EVER heard a SINGLE INSTANCE of a trans person discussing misgendering without some cis person popping up to say "I got called sir/ma'am one time, so I TOTALLY GET IT!!!"
GREY (affecting smugness): Actually, I don't like the term "cisgendered." I prefer "gender-comfortable."
ME: AAARRGBLLHGFHTFHBBQ I AM FILLING OUT A BINGO CARD ON YOU MOTHERFUCKER
Which all made me realize anew: I don't know if it's down to testosterone, getting laid on a regular basis, or just having a partner who can effectively puncture my vapors and pomposities, but I am so much less angry than I used to be. That seems like a counterintuitive effect of testosterone, but maybe if my body chemistry is finally getting closer to what it was always supposed to be ... Come to think of it, most of the FTM guys I've met, both in real life and virtually, have seemed pretty easygoing.
I used to be able to write conclusions, but I can't anymore, so I'm just going to leave this here.
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message 1:
by
Russell
(new)
Feb 16, 2013 05:27PM
You know I've never been mistaken for a woman, even when playing the most femme roles possible in bed, I have to wonder sometimes if I would have been happier as a girl but no I doubt it I think id actually have been happier if in my youth I'd embraces my bisexuality more aggressively and even my androgyny by maybe getting breast implants. At my age, well if I were going to do cosmetic surgery it would sure as hell be liposuction first... All I can do now, and there are never any conclusions, is raise my son to be who ever he is love whoever he wants and respect everyone. With luck the issues of his age will be so minor by comparison to ours, like the issues we have today must resonate with childish petulance in the ears of the martyrs of Salem, or the homosexuals of the 1940's. The point is as bad as it is now we have made progress, and so long as we make progress then we have done our part. Be well Poppy.
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