Verbal Incontinence is Spreading, It Seems

Will my followers please forgive me, but I’ve been got-at by a rather obsessive archaeologist called Alan Cadbury. He’s been bugging me about writing-up his exploits, and like a complete idiot I said Yes. You know what it’s like when a pain in the neck asks you for a favour, you say Yes – just to be shot of him. And that’s what I did. The thing is, he’d been inside my head for months and months, making life, making sensible thought, impossible. Damn you, I thought, I’ll expunge you from my brain. So I agreed to his demands, which grew and grew. Two years later I’d finished the book. Then he said: ‘Get it published…’ So I started the process with Unbound. Then he said, TWEET it! Frankly, that was too much. Going TOO far. So in desperation I asked my sheepdog Twink what she thought about it all. She put aside her ipad, and said: ‘Go for it’. Mark you, that’s the only English phrase she knows, but it seemed to make sense at the time. So I did. God help me. I blame the dog…

Anyhow, stay tuned for more on Tuesday. But don’t worry, I’ll be miles away. All on my own, under a large rock somewhere, pretending I don’t exist. But I do. Oh well…

Can someone please give me PR advice? Or a large whisky…