STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS

I made a huge decision this week.  Much bigger than the time I decided to graffiti the backside of a rhino.

I chose to pursue my creativity over my post-graduate studies.  ”What’s that?” you say.  ”‘Artsy fartsy’ over ‘thinky stinky’? Are you mad??”

Look, I’ve only got so much energy, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past year (btw, a year ago I was wheelchair bound and learning to walk again) is that pursuing my passion means more to me than anything else.  I’ve done it, we’ve all done it ~ we’ve shelved our creativity in order to scramble higher up the practical ladder of life.  ‘A few more hours a week and I can buy a nicer car.  If I take the promotion I’ll have more saved for my retirement.’  (and you’ll be too old to do anything with it!)

And in my case this week, I had to weigh the pros and cons of doing my Masters again this term.  I enjoy the studies, the research ~ learning is a huge high.  I tried for a couple of weeks to make it work.  Truth is, I couldn’t do it ~ physically or mentally ~ not yet at least.  Massive headaches, tapped energy, sleepless nights…my mind kept racing (against who I have no idea).  And I knew that if I chose to do the Masters, I wouldn’t have any time for my creativity.

So I postponed it, and guess what?  No more headaches, way more energy again, and I’m sleeping like a purring cat on a fat man’s belly.  Now, I know my recovery for Guillian-Barre Syndrome has a lot to do with my physical state, but I’m telling you my emotional/spiritual state is VERY hinged upon my creative well being.  With a healthy balance restored to my life, I’m ready to pour my energy all over the canvass and keyboard and pick up where I left off in December.  My inner jester wants to play, and so he shall.

This is a drawing I did today called ‘Streaming’.  I remembered to snap a pic as I went, so you see the halfway mark above.  I’ve still got my pen on the paper, but the learning I’m doing feels deeper. Furthermore, I don’t need to prove no thesis to nobody man!