Are you still writing 2012 on your tweets?

By Mark Peters

Twitter is a joke factory, where professional comics and civilian jesters crank out one-liners round the clock.

In that joke factory, there are popular models. Every day, new jokes play on phrases such as “Dance like no one is watching,” “Sex is like pizza,” and “When life hands you lemons.” While the repetition can be maddening, I’m impressed by how, inevitably, there’s always another good joke lurking in even the most tired formula. “Give a man a fish” variations are endless, but there’s always a fresh catch, like this tweet by Erikka Innes:

#bbpBox_289647637689417728 a { text-decoration:none; color:#009999; }#bbpBox_289647637689417728 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }Give a fish a man, he eats for a day. Teach a fish to catch a man and OH MY GOD DON'T STEAL MY AWESOME IDEA FOR A HORROR MOVIEJanuary 11, 2013 3:19 am via Twitter for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite


Some formulas are seasonal. The arrival of 2013 brings variations of a formula I presume originated as a simple observation: “It’s X year, but I’m still writing X-1 year on my checks.” Some use the snowclone-like formula to point out its own exhaustion:

#bbpBox_284811526521634816 a { text-decoration:none; color:#009999; }#bbpBox_284811526521634816 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }I can't believe it's almost 2013! I'm still writing a popular joke construction on all of my checks!December 28, 2012 7:02 pm via web Reply Retweet Favorite Jelisa Castrodale
#bbpBox_286202581875830784 a { text-decoration:none; color:#0084B4; }#bbpBox_286202581875830784 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }I'm still writing hacky jokes on my checks.January 1, 2013 3:09 pm via Echofon Reply Retweet Favorite Alex Baze

#bbpBox_286010517355638784 a { text-decoration:none; color:#0099CC; }#bbpBox_286010517355638784 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }Ugh, I'm still writing this joke format on all my tweets.January 1, 2013 2:26 am via webReplyRetweetFavorite


People write these kind of tweets about every joke formula, so I’d say pointing out hackiness has become its own form of hackery. Another option is using this format to comment on how checks have mostly gone the way of dinosaurs. This was a popular theme this year:

#bbpBox_286212776907657216 a { text-decoration:none; color:#1F98C7; }#bbpBox_286212776907657216 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }Still writing "nobody accepts checks anymore, ya stupid check" on all my checksJanuary 1, 2013 3:50 pm via web Reply Retweet Favorite Sarah Thyre
#bbpBox_286013231410053120 a { text-decoration:none; color:#9E8729; }#bbpBox_286013231410053120 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }Ugh. I'm still writing "what is a check" on Twitter.January 1, 2013 2:37 am via web Reply Retweet Favorite blondediva11

#bbpBox_285952798061916161 a { text-decoration:none; color:#0084B4; }#bbpBox_285952798061916161 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }I’m still writing “WHY THE HELL IS THERE NO WAY TO PAY THIS ONLINE?” on all my checks.December 31, 2012 10:37 pm via Tweetbot for iOSReplyRetweetFavorite


When jokesters move beyond the world of checks by replacing the word check, the humor gets more humorous:

#bbpBox_289368693039853569 a { text-decoration:none; color:#0084B4; }#bbpBox_289368693039853569 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }Ugh, still writing 2012 on my death threats.January 10, 2013 8:50 am via Twitter for iPhone Reply Retweet Favorite Denise
#bbpBox_288355303651688448 a { text-decoration:none; color:#0084B4; }#bbpBox_288355303651688448 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }Dangit! I'm still writing "2012" on my suicide notes.January 7, 2013 1:43 pm via web Reply Retweet Favorite jeffkreisler

#bbpBox_287388492416311296 a { text-decoration:none; color:#0084B4; }#bbpBox_287388492416311296 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }So embarrassing, I'm still writing 2012 on my boss's car with my keys.January 4, 2013 9:42 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite


Others keep the check part and replace 2012. In some cases, the subject matter stays close to the world of money, usually implying the tweeter is broke or a deadbeat:

#bbpBox_289406492392689664 a { text-decoration:none; color:#009999; }#bbpBox_289406492392689664 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }It's 2013, but I'm still writing "This will bounce" on all my checks.January 10, 2013 11:20 am via web Reply Retweet Favorite Highway To Helv
#bbpBox_287011969070931968 a { text-decoration:none; color:#080100; }#bbpBox_287011969070931968 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }I'm still writing 112th Congress on my checks. (I don't have any money.)January 3, 2013 8:46 pm via TweetDeck Reply Retweet Favorite Nina Bargiel

#bbpBox_286133193332109312 a { text-decoration:none; color:#0000FF; }#bbpBox_286133193332109312 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }Ugh! It's 2013 and I can't believe I'm still writing "Child Support, choke on it Denise" on all my checks.January 1, 2013 10:34 am via BufferReplyRetweetFavorite


Sometimes 2012 gets replaced with something a lot more creative:

#bbpBox_287068115773304833 a { text-decoration:none; color:#2FC2EF; }#bbpBox_287068115773304833 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }It's January 3. I can't believe I'm still writing "I’ve always viewed the smoke break as the golf course of the creative class" on my checksJanuary 4, 2013 12:29 am via Twitter for iPhone Reply Retweet Favorite I Punch Hitler

#bbpBox_286527074372550656 a { text-decoration:none; color:#0000FF; }#bbpBox_286527074372550656 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }It's 2013, but I'm still writing "THE BLOOD OF MINE ENEMIES SHALL POUR DOWN LIKE RAIN" on my checks.January 2, 2013 12:39 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite


A double replacement adds more possibilities:

#bbpBox_288310492064264192 a { text-decoration:none; color:#038543; }#bbpBox_288310492064264192 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }It's 2013 and I'm still writing "I want to go home" on all of my work emails.January 7, 2013 10:45 am via Twitter for iPhone Reply Retweet Favorite OhNo$heTwitnt

#bbpBox_285910067973324801 a { text-decoration:none; color:#8A0C0C; }#bbpBox_285910067973324801 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }Ugh. I’m still writing “2082” on all the specimen jars in my time machine.December 31, 2012 7:47 pm via Tweetbot for iOSReplyRetweetFavorite


And there’s plenty of room for absurd silliness, intriguing questions, and wordplay galore:

#bbpBox_286493912959438848 a { text-decoration:none; color:#0084B4; }#bbpBox_286493912959438848 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }I'm still writing 2012 on allthsnarrgleflug HONK HONKJanuary 2, 2013 10:27 am via web Reply Retweet Favorite lanyard
#bbpBox_286192750053974016 a { text-decoration:none; color:#000000; }#bbpBox_286192750053974016 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }It's 2013 but hipsters are still writing 1890 on all their checks.January 1, 2013 2:30 pm via Echofon Reply Retweet Favorite Dan Kennedy
#bbpBox_288327061561569281 a { text-decoration:none; color:#992222; }#bbpBox_288327061561569281 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }If you’re still writing 2012 on your cheques, the real question is, what’s with the British spelling?January 7, 2013 11:51 am via Tweetbot for iOS Reply Retweet Favorite Mαtt Thomαs
#bbpBox_286252884704763905 a { text-decoration:none; color:#0084B4; }#bbpBox_286252884704763905 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }I'm still writing "KONY 2012" on all my children.January 1, 2013 6:29 pm via Twitter for iPhone Reply Retweet Favorite Beer Baron

#bbpBox_286159837564375041 a { text-decoration:none; color:#FF3300; }#bbpBox_286159837564375041 a:hover { text-decoration:underline; }"I'm still writing 2012 on all my Czechs." -Guy who likes writing on people from Central EuropeJanuary 1, 2013 12:19 pm via Twitter for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite


Love it or loathe it, this joke format will likely survive as long as we have years. Even in 3013, I bet we’ll still be writing “Please have sex with me” into the programming of our robots.

Mark Peters is a lexicographer, humorist, rabid tweeter, and language columnist for Visual Thesaurus. He also writes Lost Batman Tales. Read his previous OUPblog posts.

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