My Smutty Valentine

The Best Valentine's Gift Money Can Buy

I spent over 20 years helping people buy Valentine's gifts that would get them laid. The angry capitalist machine turns sweet and erotic one day a year, conveying us with deceptive tenderness into bed and telling us to get down to business.

I'm not immune, of course, and for both personal and professional reasons I'm always on the lookout for a great Valentine's Day gift. This year I found something kind of perfect. It's something that will turn you on...