How to survive the zombie apocalypse

This was the title of the best — most entertaining, anyway — student “process” paper I’ve ever seen. (I don’t spend a lot of time working with English students, actually, but the occasional paper makes a nice break from math and chemistry.)

Most students write a process essay about how to braid their daughter’s hair, how to gig frogs (that was a pretty good one, partly because it was so unexpected from the well-dressed older woman who wrote it), how to win at poker, and, of course, the ever-popular how to make chocolate chip cookies. (Many instructors won’t allow recipes, and no wonder, because great as recipes can be, students seldom turn them into great papers.)

Well, the zombie apocalypse paper sprang to mind when I saw this: Sam Sheridan Gives Survival Tips for Characters in Disaster Movies — a post over at Omnivoracious.

It’s a fun post! You should check it out! What do you think, though, is it fair to say that the protagonist should leap into a speedboat and head out toward a tsunami? I’m pretty sure that would not have occurred to me.

Sometimes, though, don’t you find yourself just DYING to yell advice to a character on the big screen? For me it wasn’t a disaster movie, it was “Scream.” You know that scene at the beginning, where the girl in the house is on the phone with the killer? I couldn’t STAND it. I was all like, Put the phone down, you idiot, and hide! This is YOUR HOUSE. You must know great places to hide in it! Put! the! phone! down!

Alas, the girl doesn’t take my advice.

I wonder how many movies would actually be left, if the protagonist instantly whirled and took off like a scalded cat if someone pointed a gun at them, or said “Are you out of your mind?” when someone in their group suggested splitting up to explore the haunted house?

What’s your favorite (or should that be least favorite?) moment, when a character in a movie did something ridiculous despite all your good advice?