A Day Of Fun Under My Sun!

So the cat is bored today and needs something to do at his bay. I figure I will look to you humans for lots of fun. I mean you have that dumb grin that you always run. Plus you names things oh so grand. I love rat races as they fill up my stomach gland. I know it's not really one of those. I went for the rhyme, so don't curl your toes.

Time for some fun,
To surely be spun.
No sitting around,
Like a butt sniffing hound.

First we'll play some poker.
I'll try not to choke her.
As that damn queen,
Makes such a scene.

Four of a kind,
Beats my behind.
Lost all my dough.
Guess I ate some crow.

Let's bungie jump off a bridge,
Better yet an old ridge.
Bounce back up and whack ones head.
Oops, the guy before me got dead.

Sky diving is grand.
Let's do that over the land.
Wow, I have two parachutes on me.
The guy in front forgot his, oopsy.

Let's play chicken with a train.
Yes, you can be a Great Dane.
Figures you'd want to be a mutt,
Jump! My, you now have a flat butt.

Let's play with a gun.
That has to be fun.
That's right, point it at yourself.
There goes a leg, hello Mr. elf.

Time to jump into a volcano,
To get on some GREAT reality show.
Hmmm not sure they take extra crispy though.
But you never know.

Climb a big mountain too.
But you need to have a clue.
Sadly that isn't you,
For the cold made you snip snip and blue.

Better yet I'll lick my ass,
Chew some fat of that viking lass,
And go take a nap.
At least now mountain climber can't catch the clap.

My, you humans have such fun things to do. I don't know why everyone doesn't want to emulate you. Actually that is a lie in case you are high. On life of course is what I mean. Don't go making a pot head scene. Maybe you could go roll in the grass. After all it is fun for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.