Journey and struggles of a self-published writing mother
It's only been about 7 months since I decided I was going to self-publish a novel, and boy has it been an interesting ride! I've started and stopped multiple times, getting this idea or that which seem like the one, my voice, the story I have to tell, until the day that it's not. Then one day, Isabella, my then nine month old daughter did something that gave me THE idea. I scooped her up laughing and spinning around, so thrilled as the story seemed to be writing itself in my head in those moments. Unfortunately, she had learned to walk a couple of weeks prior to that and was getting into EVERYTHING, so most of my writing consisted of sloppily written notes on envelopes, and eventually a notepad that I bought to outline my story. Forget about trying to type it while she was awake. She was, and still is obsessed with my "puter" and attempts to type anytime I have it open.
Did I mention I also have a day job as a tax accountant at a CPA firm over an hour away? Yeah, having another job and a commute really impedes on my writing time. So over the last few months I've found myself staying up ridiculously late at night writing some and reading a lot. Afterall, the reading is what started me on this journey in the first place.
I've always been an avid reader, but nearly a year ago I discovered the world of independent authors when I purchased "Tall, Dark, and Lonely" by R.L. Mathewson through iBooks on my new iPhone for $0.99. I adored it and within the span of a few weeks I had purchased and read everything she had published and quickly moved on to discover the work of many more independent authors.
At this point, I have to give a big thank you to R.L., she has been such an inspiration to me. Without her work, I never would have started on this journey in the first place. Up until that point I had no idea that self-publishing was even a possibility. I became a friend of R.L's on Facebook, finding it shocking that such a talented author was so accessible.
And one day, it hit me. She was just like me. She was a mother, a normal person and she had done it, put herself out there. I wanted to write too. It had always been in the back of my mind, but I never seriously considered it as a possibility. When I was in highschool and college, the industry was too tough, it was too hard to get published, so I wrote off being an author in the same way one might being a famous actor or pop star. I chose a practical route and majored in accounting.
So here I am, nearly ten years later and everything has changed. The literary world is now open to all who have the drive to access it. Can't get a contract with a traditional publisher, tired of all the rejected queries? No big deal, publish it yourself.
So here I am. I've made the decision to be a writer. I have the idea and I've started writing it, but it is not so easy. The words don't flow in an endless stream day and night ready to be put to paper every time I have a spare moment. More often than not the ideas come at inopportune moments, while I'm at work, changing a diaper, or driving to cheer practice. Thank God for technology! I've recently discovered the miracle of voice notes so I can record ideas when I'm in the car, which is where I spend a large chunk of my free time. But even with the miracle of technology, it is really hard to make time to write as the mother of a fifteen month old and a twelve year old with a job. All of those voice notes need to be transcribed, and to be honest, when I'm listening back to them, they don't always make sense.
Oh, and then there is the self-doubt. The thoughts that no one will want to read your book, or those that do will hate it. That every author that came before you is far more talented and that you are just fooling yourself in thinking you can do this. Somehow, by some miracle, I have gotten by all of that and have pushed forward.
At the end of the day, I find that I'm exhausted. I don't get enough sleep, I don't work out anymore, and I never feel like I've gotten enough writing done. But there's a light at the end of the tunnel. In just a few months my first book will be published and I will be well into the second. Hopefully, my books will be successful enough to allow me to leave my current job to pursue my career as an author full-time, but even if that never happens, I can be proud of myself. I did it. I made something all my own and put it out there for the judgment of others.
People are mean and inconsiderate, especially in the virtual world, so anyone who is brave enough to put themselves out there, to put their baby, their work, out into the world should hold their heads high and be proud of the accomplishment that comes from being brave and taking a chance on yourself.
Did I mention I also have a day job as a tax accountant at a CPA firm over an hour away? Yeah, having another job and a commute really impedes on my writing time. So over the last few months I've found myself staying up ridiculously late at night writing some and reading a lot. Afterall, the reading is what started me on this journey in the first place.
I've always been an avid reader, but nearly a year ago I discovered the world of independent authors when I purchased "Tall, Dark, and Lonely" by R.L. Mathewson through iBooks on my new iPhone for $0.99. I adored it and within the span of a few weeks I had purchased and read everything she had published and quickly moved on to discover the work of many more independent authors.
At this point, I have to give a big thank you to R.L., she has been such an inspiration to me. Without her work, I never would have started on this journey in the first place. Up until that point I had no idea that self-publishing was even a possibility. I became a friend of R.L's on Facebook, finding it shocking that such a talented author was so accessible.
And one day, it hit me. She was just like me. She was a mother, a normal person and she had done it, put herself out there. I wanted to write too. It had always been in the back of my mind, but I never seriously considered it as a possibility. When I was in highschool and college, the industry was too tough, it was too hard to get published, so I wrote off being an author in the same way one might being a famous actor or pop star. I chose a practical route and majored in accounting.
So here I am, nearly ten years later and everything has changed. The literary world is now open to all who have the drive to access it. Can't get a contract with a traditional publisher, tired of all the rejected queries? No big deal, publish it yourself.
So here I am. I've made the decision to be a writer. I have the idea and I've started writing it, but it is not so easy. The words don't flow in an endless stream day and night ready to be put to paper every time I have a spare moment. More often than not the ideas come at inopportune moments, while I'm at work, changing a diaper, or driving to cheer practice. Thank God for technology! I've recently discovered the miracle of voice notes so I can record ideas when I'm in the car, which is where I spend a large chunk of my free time. But even with the miracle of technology, it is really hard to make time to write as the mother of a fifteen month old and a twelve year old with a job. All of those voice notes need to be transcribed, and to be honest, when I'm listening back to them, they don't always make sense.
Oh, and then there is the self-doubt. The thoughts that no one will want to read your book, or those that do will hate it. That every author that came before you is far more talented and that you are just fooling yourself in thinking you can do this. Somehow, by some miracle, I have gotten by all of that and have pushed forward.
At the end of the day, I find that I'm exhausted. I don't get enough sleep, I don't work out anymore, and I never feel like I've gotten enough writing done. But there's a light at the end of the tunnel. In just a few months my first book will be published and I will be well into the second. Hopefully, my books will be successful enough to allow me to leave my current job to pursue my career as an author full-time, but even if that never happens, I can be proud of myself. I did it. I made something all my own and put it out there for the judgment of others.
People are mean and inconsiderate, especially in the virtual world, so anyone who is brave enough to put themselves out there, to put their baby, their work, out into the world should hold their heads high and be proud of the accomplishment that comes from being brave and taking a chance on yourself.
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