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Cary
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Mar 04, 2013 10:15AM

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I have a character who speaks with a specific dialect (uses "ain't" for example). Should the narrative (thoughts of the character) also use this dialect? I have heard that it becomes overkill and can be a turn off to a reader. Also, part of the character's character is that his speech deflects from his inner intelligence and perceptiveness.
However, I can also see the argument for consistency.How do you decide?

Consistency is important, for sure. You wouldn't expect a character's inner voice to sound like a university professor while his speaking voice sounds like a backwoodsman; the difference would destroy the credibility of the narrative. On the other hand, too much dialect, as you say, is definitely overkill. I've put down more than one book for this reason, alone.
When in doubt, I always look for a model, and the best model in this case might be Huckleberry Finn. Twain told Huck's story in first person from Huck's point of view, and we all know how uneducated Huck's speech was; so, what did Twain do with Huck's narrative voice? Here's a brief example:
"Git up and hump yourself, Jim! There ain't a minute to lose. They're after us!"
Jim never asked no questions, he never said a word; but the way he worked for the next half an hour showed about how he was scared. By that time everything we had in the world was on our raft and she was ready to be shoved out from the willow cove where she was hid. We put out the camp fire at the cavern the first thing, and didn't show a candle outside after that. [from Chapt. 11]
You can see that Huck's dialogue is pure Huck, but the narrative voice is more carefully crafted. Twain uses a double negative, "hid" instead of "hidden," and other informal constructions to convey Huck's unsophisticated grasp of language, but otherwise the narrative reads smoothly and clearly. If we take a step backward, we could say that perhaps Twain was helping Huck tell his story in a way that would be easy to read and would convey Huck's innate intelligence and potential for maturity, yet while reading it up close, we believe it's Huck's voice all the way.
You might try reading a chapter or two to get a feel for what Twain was doing with his narrative and to watch how he kept this balance between dialect and plain prose.
I hope this helps! Mike.