World Building Blog Hop - Demonstrating world-building in an excerpt
I have a couple of excerpts for you! This is the opening paragraph -
I sprinted through the dusty, narrow streets. My two younger sisters were hot on my trail, their footsteps sliding in the dirt as they took the corners, their hands occasionally slapping the mud brick walls for balance. I took a sharp turn and headed for the abandoned temple district. I rounded a corner and came face to face with the grand gates to the Temple of Bast...
I'm pretty proud of it. Sets up the ancient desert city.
This is where she first enters Amarna. (I call it Amarna in the story rather than Akhetaten so it's not confusing with Akhenaten) This description I had to put together from archeological journals and such from digs and theories of the sight.
As we passed through the gate I gazed around in awe. I didn't dare move my head, but examined the city the best I could with my eyes. The city had open streets and courtyards, the walls of the buildings were white and reflected the glare from the sun, and the architecture was modern and stylized with hieroglyphs depicting the great Aten over each doorway. The men led me toward the palace down a wide, busy road, where people stopped and moved aside to watch us. We passed under a bridge which led from a large, elaborate house into the palace. The bridge was covered, with windows cut out along the middle.Soon we entered the palace courtyard which was, like the rest of the city, wide and open, with a stone path leading up to the doorway into the palace.
This is just a small thing to help with understanding the heat, especially in a roofless city.
I no longer wore any shoes, and the hot sand underfoot was painful, so I began walking on my toes. He tugged on my arm. “Don't do that, bear through the pain or people might think you shun Aten's almighty power.”“Why didn't they give me some sandals?” I hissed.“You are not complete. You will remain barefoot until they give you a name....”
...He began leading me back to the temple, and I was relieved to find the ground had patches where the walls cast shadows that I could walk on and not feel like my feet were searing. But in the places where the sun still beat down, it was even more painful than before, as the thick skin on my feet was no longer there to provide a layer of protection.
I sprinted through the dusty, narrow streets. My two younger sisters were hot on my trail, their footsteps sliding in the dirt as they took the corners, their hands occasionally slapping the mud brick walls for balance. I took a sharp turn and headed for the abandoned temple district. I rounded a corner and came face to face with the grand gates to the Temple of Bast...
I'm pretty proud of it. Sets up the ancient desert city.
This is where she first enters Amarna. (I call it Amarna in the story rather than Akhetaten so it's not confusing with Akhenaten) This description I had to put together from archeological journals and such from digs and theories of the sight.
As we passed through the gate I gazed around in awe. I didn't dare move my head, but examined the city the best I could with my eyes. The city had open streets and courtyards, the walls of the buildings were white and reflected the glare from the sun, and the architecture was modern and stylized with hieroglyphs depicting the great Aten over each doorway. The men led me toward the palace down a wide, busy road, where people stopped and moved aside to watch us. We passed under a bridge which led from a large, elaborate house into the palace. The bridge was covered, with windows cut out along the middle.Soon we entered the palace courtyard which was, like the rest of the city, wide and open, with a stone path leading up to the doorway into the palace.
This is just a small thing to help with understanding the heat, especially in a roofless city.
I no longer wore any shoes, and the hot sand underfoot was painful, so I began walking on my toes. He tugged on my arm. “Don't do that, bear through the pain or people might think you shun Aten's almighty power.”“Why didn't they give me some sandals?” I hissed.“You are not complete. You will remain barefoot until they give you a name....”
...He began leading me back to the temple, and I was relieved to find the ground had patches where the walls cast shadows that I could walk on and not feel like my feet were searing. But in the places where the sun still beat down, it was even more painful than before, as the thick skin on my feet was no longer there to provide a layer of protection.
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