Within Ruin by Darrell Drake

When not dutifully scrawling novels and the occasional review, Darrell can be found petting his wife or bathing with his frolicsome cat. They're both spry and easily beguiled by plastic springs, so he often confuses the two when typing his biographies in third-person.

If populating a map for military conquest, it would be accurate to neatly place his tiny walnut idol--artillery, maybe--somewhere in Toronto, Ontario. His ammunition would be writing, reading, gaming, slumbering and catting; not the naughty whipping sort but activities involving cats. Catting.