So just how erotic does an erotic author need to be outside the pages of the novel?

It's all imagination, right?

No one actually does this stuff ...do they?

I think this summarises the position of my mother and daughter and I'm happy for them to keep this position, well at least in relation to me. I mean children are meant to think they are the result on the one and only occasion (or four in my parents’ case as I have three sisters). And my mother was not one of the swinging sixties set.

I know one successful mainstream Mills & Boon romance writer and saw a documentary on a group. All these were middle aged or older and to say the least, conservative and well not obviously outwardly romantic. None looked like Barbara Cartland (okay she was still writing when she had false teeth and breasts probably looked like teabags but she dressed in style and Princess Di was her step-daughter). None had ever had sex. They just kissed and swooned a lot, I swear.

I have lots of great on-line friends who are erotic fiction authors but haven’t met any. How much can you judge by a photo? There are an interesting mix of actual author photos (range from conservative to ‘there could be hidden depths’), hot web sites, a never ending supply of hot male photos (where do they get them? Are they risking copyright by pinching them off the web or do they have a good deal on bulk photo purchase? I have a friend with a hot son and have thought about making him an offer but I don’t think my photographic skills would do him justice. And my daughter would probably die). I’ve had a few interchanges when we have both been tipsy suggesting there might be some interesting research being pursued…But is it necessary? Desirable? Fiction is 30% your life, 30% someone else’s and the rest made up. Can you choose which is which? Can you write erotic fiction using your experience with 5-11 partners (this is claimed as the average for women in research so my daughter can relax, this isn't a confession where I ahve forgotten the last 6) for the sex scenes? Or is this the 30% complete fiction?Okay having researched the sex writers (nonfiction) on what really happens out there, my educated guess is this:
1.      Characters are more fiction than not because the rules say we have to make them ‘noble’. In real life? Ah well we might try our best but let’s face it, there aren’t too many Mother Theresa’s and besides she was celibate.
2.      The MFM, MFMM, etc is the fiction of the millennium…but only with respect to the faithfulness and HEA. The better written ones…have had some research involved. Swinging, swopping didn’t die in the 70’s. The USA may be hung up on monogamy but they are just serial offenders…the divorce rate is huge and there is often an overlap …
3.      The MM written by men…well do I need to say? Though my gay friend thinks his life is considerably more colourful. But then if you’re living it rather than writing about it you don’t have so many rules…
4.      Erotic fiction writers …are a wee bit wilder than other writers. Go girls (and guys!). And when we can, we enjoy the research…
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