The Universe owes me for a sucky yesterday
So here's how my day went yesterday.
I went to work. My shift was just a four hour one, which was nice, and I thought a good start to the day.
After work I had an email from someone telling me that I did not get this other job I was applying for. Then I went into minor panic mode, because I didn't realize how much I'd been counting on that financially. I'm so done with squeak by mode.
So, I kinda also had this speeding ticket from two months ago that I needed to take care of by today, and let me tell you, Virginia speeding tickets are a lot meaner than Utah speeding tickets. In Utah (or at least in Provo) its like, sit in traffic school for a couple hours and we'll call it good. Anything called "school" can't be too bad, and in fact its not. Here the tickets are like pay this fine or go to court and PLEAD YOUR CASE IN A COURT OF LAW. Ok, so that's not unusual and I'm being dramatic but its very intimidating. So, anyway, then I had to take care of that, meaning decide whether to add to money stress or take a chance with a judge which probably wouldn't change the money stress anyway only add another kind of stress but the lady I called said I had to pay by two or it wouldn't go through in time so I had to decide fast so I just paid and got it over with.
Then last night I was picking up my sister and on the way back (and this was at like, 5:30 which is THE WORST DRIVING TIME everywhere within a 50 mile radius of the city) I was turning a corner and people stopped for a red light fast enough that I nicked the corner of the big SUV in front of me and scratched the back left corner paint a little and so I had to stop and the three Mexican guys in the car took a picture of my insurance and the scratch and my licence plate and they were nice but it was still really really scary because this hasn't happened to me before and what if my insurance goes up I HATE SQUEAK BY MODE.
Three punches in the face. As they say, mishaps come in threes. Same with my answers for why I'll be just fine.
First, just the simple belief that I'll be okay. Like I was saying to my HLP, there is a big difference between This Sucks days and I'm Drowning days. I've experienced the Drowning days, which definitely don't feel survivable, but just the fact that I'm able to talk about this and I'm already doing fine means I'm not in drowning mode, that I'm getting the strength and confidence I've felt like I don't have, and if it takes a few knocks to show you you can take it, then I guess that's okay.
Second, I do genuinely believe that when things are rough and totally not working out the way you wanted them to it means that if everything went according to your plan it would get in the way of something much better. God knows us and our situation and what we want even more than we do ourselves, and even though its hard, I think its much safer to trust that He knows what He's doing. All that only means that something AWESOME is on its way, right?
Third and lastly, and right now the most helpful thing of all, is that as I write this it actually is last night and mom is making tomato soup and grilled-cheese sandwiches and there is lime sherbet in the freezer. Also it's Tuesday night, and that means a brand new Chopped.
As a fave song says, tomorrow will be kinder. Now pass the ice-cream.
Sarah Allen
I went to work. My shift was just a four hour one, which was nice, and I thought a good start to the day.
After work I had an email from someone telling me that I did not get this other job I was applying for. Then I went into minor panic mode, because I didn't realize how much I'd been counting on that financially. I'm so done with squeak by mode.
So, I kinda also had this speeding ticket from two months ago that I needed to take care of by today, and let me tell you, Virginia speeding tickets are a lot meaner than Utah speeding tickets. In Utah (or at least in Provo) its like, sit in traffic school for a couple hours and we'll call it good. Anything called "school" can't be too bad, and in fact its not. Here the tickets are like pay this fine or go to court and PLEAD YOUR CASE IN A COURT OF LAW. Ok, so that's not unusual and I'm being dramatic but its very intimidating. So, anyway, then I had to take care of that, meaning decide whether to add to money stress or take a chance with a judge which probably wouldn't change the money stress anyway only add another kind of stress but the lady I called said I had to pay by two or it wouldn't go through in time so I had to decide fast so I just paid and got it over with.
Then last night I was picking up my sister and on the way back (and this was at like, 5:30 which is THE WORST DRIVING TIME everywhere within a 50 mile radius of the city) I was turning a corner and people stopped for a red light fast enough that I nicked the corner of the big SUV in front of me and scratched the back left corner paint a little and so I had to stop and the three Mexican guys in the car took a picture of my insurance and the scratch and my licence plate and they were nice but it was still really really scary because this hasn't happened to me before and what if my insurance goes up I HATE SQUEAK BY MODE.
Three punches in the face. As they say, mishaps come in threes. Same with my answers for why I'll be just fine.
First, just the simple belief that I'll be okay. Like I was saying to my HLP, there is a big difference between This Sucks days and I'm Drowning days. I've experienced the Drowning days, which definitely don't feel survivable, but just the fact that I'm able to talk about this and I'm already doing fine means I'm not in drowning mode, that I'm getting the strength and confidence I've felt like I don't have, and if it takes a few knocks to show you you can take it, then I guess that's okay.
Second, I do genuinely believe that when things are rough and totally not working out the way you wanted them to it means that if everything went according to your plan it would get in the way of something much better. God knows us and our situation and what we want even more than we do ourselves, and even though its hard, I think its much safer to trust that He knows what He's doing. All that only means that something AWESOME is on its way, right?
Third and lastly, and right now the most helpful thing of all, is that as I write this it actually is last night and mom is making tomato soup and grilled-cheese sandwiches and there is lime sherbet in the freezer. Also it's Tuesday night, and that means a brand new Chopped.
As a fave song says, tomorrow will be kinder. Now pass the ice-cream.
Sarah Allen
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