I Do Write About Topics Other Than Writing

OK, this blog has been neglected before I've really gotten it started. So, let me tell you I'm a bit burnt out from all the contest stuff, all the payment controversy from America's Next Author, all the career-building stuff.

Mostly, I'm probably burnt out because I haven't been writing.

So here is something of innappropriate style and substance that I wrote because I love.

How to Get Over a Broken Heart

Human beings are callous creatures. We pursue our own agendas, desires and happiness at the expense of those who would love us. We have all done it. We have all disputed the purity of another’s love. We have all had our hearts broken in turn. We all know this state; of mourning, of guarded weakness, of despair when the substances of joy are suddenly withdrawn; heartbreak leaves its initials carved on all of our souls.

Empathy trains us to see the signs. You have seen the pale despair of a would-be mother who reveals a miscarriage by being silent about what she has survived. We see it under the words of old widowers who ask each other what they are going to eat for dinner as if they are only lost in the kitchens of the world. You see it in the tight jaws and tired eyes of humiliated spouses who are embarrassed by the traditions they have disappointed, by the poor choices, by the confused children who no longer have what their friends may have. You don’t see it in teenage boys who hide in their rooms and listen to music on ear buds so their parents cannot hear an endless loop of sad songs. You may see among groups of teenage girls seeking comfort and attention from their friends. In these ways heartbreak is public. In these ways, heartbreak becomes even more private.

Recovery, though, knows instruction. For those afflicted by heartbreak are students of hope’s persistence. For them – for you – these quiet wishes are offerings. They are made to acknowledge your disappointed expectations, your lost emotional investment, and your spent energies.

It is not the time, not yet, to remember all the lessons you have been taught about the flawed humanity we share. No. Instead you must remember yourself. Your own boundaries of skin, your own circuitry of vessels were designed to sustain you independently of others. Nurture that system. Drink clean water, eat healthy food, sleep dreamlessly and move on foot through the neighbourhood in search of something beautiful.

These nourishments will repair your shocked physical system. Emotional balance might be more difficult. Try not to cry, try not to brood, try not to wallow. Every tear that you do not shed helps you to resist the temptations of cynicism. Every ray of light you allow to break up a dark mood warms your mind to the idea that this experience, too, is full of some grand and important learning. When you refuse to treat misery as a plaything you learn to respect the power of emotion itself. With this respect, you teach yourself to control your feelings.

Practise this self care and nourishment. Continue to search for beauty. Learn to respect and control your emotions. Do these things gently and with great love for who you are and who you are becoming. That’s how you get over a broken heart.