Identifying the bad beliefs is the first step to overcoming self-sabotage
“Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Seriously. Today, drop your nonsense at the door. Get rid of the beliefs that are making you less than. Adopt those that are helpful and encouraging. Those that move you toward your passions and keep you close to your values.
You can do this. You can rework your thoughts, rewire your brain, recreate your life. But, in the short run you can simply feel better, happier, more peaceful right now. Ready to shrug off that skin of self-sabotage?
Start by identifying the areas of limiting beliefs working in your life. Here’s are three ways to do it.
1. Look at the areas of your life that aren’t working as you’d like. Perhaps your relationship isn’t what you want it to be, or you are stuck in a dead-end job. Usually, when we aren’t creating what we want in our lives it’s because we believe that we’re unworthy or that we can’t have all that we desire. Identify what isn’t working and start exploring the thought patterns that support that limitation.
2. Observe the self talk. Any vague statement, anything that sounds absolute or abstract, disparaging or diminishing in any way is the language of a limiting belief. Listen for words like “I can’t,” “I never,” “I’m not good enough” “I’m just unlucky.” Life is about energy flow. Limiting language slows the flow and can show us where bad beliefs are working behind the scenes of our lives. Next time you catch this kind of self-talk, observe it, write it down, recognize what’s fueling it and then just explore that.
3. Follow the energy. Do you feel excited and alive on Saturday when you know you have time to paint, or coach your daughter’s soccer team? Are you drained Monday mornings when you head back to work? When do you feel most energized? Fatigued? Follow the energy. The things that fill us up are often those activities that steer us, even without our knowing, toward our passions and values. When we are wiped out, it’s due in part to the beliefs we hold about a particular activity or event. Pay attention to the way the energy flows through your body, when it drops and you feel fatigued scrutinize the source of the energy lag. Behind it you’ll find the belief holding you back.
So, what now? You’ve used these techniques to discover or at least begin exploring the limiting beliefs in your life. Now that you have an idea of some of the beliefs holding you back, how do you overcome the self-sabotage and clear some of those limitations out?
It starts with awareness – noticing what you are thinking and when. Then, it requires consistent practice.
Begin exploring the beliefs that are already at work. Identify those that are helpful like “I can figure this out,” “I can do this,” “I am lovable.”
And, when you find those that aren’t helping you to live the life you desire, commit to letting them go and replacing them with something better.
Start today. Every time you hear the disparaging inner self talk observe it, even write it down. Once you begin to notice the thoughts working in your life, it’s easier to rewrite them. On Wednesday, I’ll give you an exercise that will help you to do it.
