Forgiveness

     I am writing this blog because of a comment I got from a reader of my blog about Lance Armstrong earlier this week. In response to that blog, the commenter said "I agree that harming others is stepping over a moral line, but I also think most of us have done something to harm others in our lives. There's something to be said for forgiveness, too."  
     Of course, he is correct. If we believe that those among us should be the one to throw stones, then my stone pile will remain untouched. Still... that got me to thinking about forgiveness. Where does forgiveness come from? Is it something generated from inside ourselves, or is it something that needs to come from an action or repentance from the hopeful-to-be-forgiven?
     I am rarely impressed by the things I see on television news - either the quality of the broadcasting or the subject matter - but I am occasionally impressed by the forgiveness I see there. In 2006, when an armed gunman burst into an Amish school and shot ten children and killed five before turning the gun on himself, the community's first reaction was forgiveness. They didn't quote "An eye for an eye" scripture or waste time hating the dead gunman. Instead, they said this:  "I don't think there's anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss in that way but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts."
     That was impressive and well beyond the scope of what I would have been able to muster under similar circumstances. As I watched them reach out and embrace the family of the gunman, one word came to my mind: grace. It is a quality I seek, but I fall short so often, which makes me admire it more in others. I also like this example of forgiveness because the didn't require anything of the offender. He was dead and gone by his own hand, which most of us would describe as taking the easy way out. And still, this community forgave him. 
     And that brings me back to the comment that originally inspired this blog: what about forgiveness for Lance Armstrong? I am not Amish, and I am not as grace-filled as I should be, because I still feel like I need something from him. Watching his interview with Oprah, I got the distinct feeling that he was only genuinely sorry he was in the predicament he was in. In the days leading up to his mea culpa, he ran the whole idea of coming clean up the flagpole to see who would salute. What if I came clean, and admitted everything? was floated around the media for a week or so to test the waters. I have a real problem with that. If you've cheated, harmed others, acted without integrity, I understand that. As the commenter noted, we all do that at one point or another in our lives. Putting out a trial balloon to see how a confession will play in the media is an act of cowardice.
     So, my perspective of the day is, this is something I still need to work on. I have gotten to the point I can forgive people, let go, and never think of it again. But doing that with no act of contrition on their part? I still need work on that.  
     Just for fun, I'm adding a link to one of my favorite songs, The Heart of the Matter by Don Henley, which covers some of this same information, albeit on a more personal level. During the years that Dawn and I were separated, I often listened to this song and thought about the ways it applied to our situation.