Now You’re Speaking My Language

 

I can never understand what my dentist is saying. Well, except for that one time she told me one of my molars was shattered, and keeping itself together only through habit, but I only remember that because I made her repeat it three times because it was such a fantastic thing to say.

 

I went in today for two small fillings and, while I didn’t record it, I’m pretty sure it went a little like this:

 

Now it’s time to seat the orsch.

 

A lemur and a sendar are no good match.

 

You might want to cut back on the rocks and gummy spores.

 

For the record, I stopped eating gummy spores in 1997 after the Attorney General came out and said they make all testicles within a five kilometer radius harden and fluctuate at a rapid pace so that, everywhere you go, it sounds like tiny drums are being played within the pants of men.