Pythons for the picking

Here’s something I’ve never wanted to do: hunt pythons. But if you’re interested, you can register for the month-long Python Challenge currently underway in the Everglades of Florida. Whoever catches and turns in the most pythons in the month wins $1500. Apparently, Florida is becoming overrun with Burmese pythons that disillusioned pet owners released over the years, and the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is sponsoring the challenge to raise public awareness about the pythons. I guess Floridians are getting tired of finding big sinewy snakes in their parks, lakes, baseball fields, sports bars and massage parlors.

Just kidding about the bars and massage parlors.

I think.

Anyway, Florida wants you to come and catch their pythons for them. Based on the news segment I saw about the competition, I’m not sure if you get to keep the ones you catch, or it’s catch-and-release like we’ve got here in Minnesota for certain types of fish. Although, if they’re trying to get rid of the snakes, Florida probably wants you to take the pythons home.

So if you’re a snake charmer who travels around the US doing Renaissance Festivals, this might be a great opportunity for you to add to your performing snake collection. If you’re not a snake charmer, well, then, I guess you could – I don’t know – catch the snakes for the heck of it. Last I heard, there were a thousand people registered for the competition.

And I am not one of them. We’re talking pythons here – that’s like six to nine feet of muscle that lives to squeeze other creatures to death. I like a hug as much as the next person, but a python hug is over the top. In fact, in the rules for the competition it says to kill the snakes, you should shoot them in the head with a bullet, or decapitate them with a machete.

This is another reason I am not participating in the Python Challenge. No way do I want to be in the Everglades with a thousand people with guns and machetes.  I’m pretty sure I don’t look like a python, but I’m not taking any chances.

So much for spring break in the Everglades this year…