I have so much hatred in my heart right now. So much that...

I have so much hatred in my heart right now. So much that it pains. I'm sorry, Lord, that I'm still capable of this feeling despite the blessings you've given me. I am, anyway, just a mere human being; imperfect, capable of feeling emotions--whether good or bad--, susceptible to pain and anything that threatens my pride, stupid and ignorant to things I do not understand, and frustrated and angry when my expectations are brushed off. Even so, I'd still thank You for such emotions for it teaches me to become considerate and understanding. It slaps my sleeping logical self awake and provides a new pattern of thought-- a new chance to understand and become a better person. 
There is one thing I learned today. Pain does not always mean defeat or failure. Hatred does not always cause regret and bad memories. Pain and hatred, when felt, can be a way of learning. Only a hard way. 

xoxo, Ryma Hurt