Writing Wednesday: Query Letters

Query letters are important. They are a way for you to introduce yourself these days mostly via email to a potential agent (rarely an editor). Standard advice:

1. Begin with an introductory paragraph. Say a few words about how you found this agent or why you think this agent would work for you. If you know other clients of the agent, this is a good place to say it. If you read the agent's blog, again, this is a good place to say it. I would say to stick to less than three sentences here, so don't go on and on, but make sure that you give a detail that matters. Don't just say you read the blog or you know a client's work. Say which client, which book and what you LOVE about it. Say what specific blog post or series of posts or the tone or whatever makes you think you would be a good fit. Also list in this first paragraph the name of ONE title that you are pitching, presumably with the word count and genre info (YA fantasy, adult romance, etc). [Please make sure that your word count is reasonable for this genre. I get frustrated with people who ask what word count they should shoot for. You should know this based on your extensive reading in your genre, but basically, don't query about a novel that is only 10,000 words long and don't query about a novel that is 400,000 words long.)

2. Second paragraph should contain a hook for the novel you are pitching, and about three other sentences summarizing main plot points, including a hint about the ending. Look, you don't need to reveal all your secrets here, but it's useful for the agent to know that you have an idea what the shape of a novel actually looks like. A novel doesn't end with the main character doing nothing. It doesn't end with everyone dying. Make sure you make clear what makes your novel part of its genre and what makes it stand out. If you're writing a romance, the agent will expect a happy ending. If you're writing a mystery, there will be a dead body. You don't have to point to specific books your book is like or unlike (and I recommend avoiding trashing other authors or books in general). But if you're writing a romance, what makes your spunky, sassy heroine different? Is she a sky diver? Is she a former movie star turned politician? If you're writing a fantasy, what makes your elves different from everyone else's elves?

3. A final paragraph that can be as short as one line saying that you hope to hear back soon is fine. If you have some notable personal writing credentials or other credentials that make sense to list (like you are a former lawyer and your book is about a lawyer), include them briefly here. If you have won a major contest, list it. Do NOT feel obliged to say that you wrote for the high school yearbook or paper in order to prove that you have credentials. There is nothing wrong with being a debut author. The less you say about your lack of credentials, the better and classier you will look.

4. There is a not insignificant subtext of your query letter that you should be aware of. You do NOT want to sound like a crazy person. You don't want to go on and on about things. You don't want to give too much personal information at this stage. You may end up BFFs with your agent or you may not, but it's not going to happen here. Do not threaten, even in jest. Do not be weird. Really. It won't help you to stand out in bad ways. This is a business letter. Don't be too cute. You are trying to establish a professional relationship that will basically be based on money like any other business relationship. Keep that in mind.

For the sake of truth in advertising, I am going to include a letter I sent out to adult agents a number of years ago.


Dear XXX,
I think we know each other a little from xxx.  I am a friend of client x, who recommended that I contact you. 

I have worked mostly in YA fantasy (my titles are THE MONSTER IN ME 2002 with Holiday House, MIRA, MIRROR 2004 with Viking, and THE PRINCESS AND THE HOUND in 2007 with HarperEos), but I now have an adult manuscript I am looking for representation for, THE MAN I MARRIED, 65,000 words.

Angie Stander is in her thirties, married, with three kids (twin girls in school and Tommie, still at home). She's put on weight and she
doesn't remember what romance is anymore. Her husband Jeff seems to be more of another child, expecting her to wake him up and getting him off to work. She does household chores all day and wonders why she bothered getting a college degree for all of this. Then while she is at school, she is asked to help with a new student whose father happens to speak Arabic, which Angie also speaks. Johnnie is handsome, lonely, and smells intoxicatingly good. For one moment, Angie forgets who she is and kisses him. At that very moment, Jeff sees her and is sure that she is having an affair. The two end up with a hilarious marriage counselor who is convinced that they just have to remember why they fell in love in the first place, and asks them to relive some of their favorite moments from the past. In the end, Angie finds out that Jeff has dealt with some temptations of his own, but laughing at each other and themselves, the two fall back in love.

I think of this as Pride and Prejudice for the married woman. Because why should single people have all the fun? Romance doesn't die when the wedding bells ring. Or at least, it shouldn't.

Mette Ivie Harrison


I don't know that this is the perfect query letter, but I think it is good enough. I think it is probably too long in the third paragraph, but I also think it's serviceable. Serviceable is often as much as you need. It's your pages that are going to shine. You mostly need to have good grammar and not a ton of typos and to leave a reasonable impression that you know the field and that your novel has some new spark to it.