A Note to My Subconscious

Dear Subconscious,

I'm writing to let you know that I'm nominating the dream you provided last night for the Nightmare of the Year award in the category "Public Speaking Nightmare." I was particularly impressed with the way you skipped all the cliched lack of clothing and disorganization and went straight for accidentally disappointing other people. The most dramatic moment was when I was in the middle of interviewing a celebrity in front of an audience and I turned to see the other four...