Maniacal Laughter in Aisle Two
Do you ever see people talking to themselves when you’re out shopping? How about laughing at apparently nothing? Do you wonder who they are and where they came from? Want to call the local funny farm to see if anyone went missing?
I have the answer, writers. We’re a strange lot us authors. Other people who sit staring into space all day and then proceed to mumble under their breath, responding to some unseen person, or laugh like a hyena whilst banging away on a laptop would be locked up. However, those around us just shake their heads and explain, “author” and all is forgiven.
As well as this desire to communicate with voices in our heads we also like to ask strange questions, and not always with explanation. “If I tied you to the bed and spanked you with a stick of celery do you think you would get an erection? What if I tickled your prostate with it?” Questions like this are likely to have your average male cleaning out your salad crisper in fear of their lives.
How about walking into a car yard and examining cars before asking how many bodies you can squeeze in the boot. Or dragging your other half into an expensive sports car on the forecourt of an exclusive dealership to see if it’s physically possible to have sex without the gear stick getting embedded in your arse.
My favorite, halfway through marital relations asking your man how it feels to stick that in someone and could he give you a blow by blow description of the physical responses his body makes when he shoots his wad. Undoubtedly that results in nothing being shot at all.
We are a curious bunch, intent on ensuring the people in our head lead full and believable lives. We suffer for our art. Who wants to research genital piercings or just what male strippers get up to?
I gladly went where others fear to tread to give you Hot Male, Reigning Men Volume Three. My muse, Irish male stripper, Michael Monaghan, is delighted with the authenticity of his book, and if anyone tells me he’s not real I’ll freak right out because he insists he is…or is that just his voice in my head?
This weekend you can win a free copy of Hot Male at Elodie Parkes blog
Just click here
