Back to the Eighties

Yesterday I wrote about 70's fashion trends that I actually wore. Today I'm talking 80's.

Apparently some of the stuff is coming back. Dude, I can deal with the neon colors and skinny ties, but here are some trends that should never return:

High hair - BIG hair is fine, and should be encouraged. But that flat spike of hair caused by Final Netting your bangs until they stand straight up needs to go to Trend Hell.
[image error] Gorgeous girl. Too bad about the fin on her forehead. Men, I wouldn't be laughing too loudly at the blond above...
Three scrunchies worn on one topknot - buh bye.

Over-the-top make up.
[image error] Actually, this is sort of fun if you're 18. I take it back - have at it, girls.
Big shoulders, especially in those dresses that look like a suit and are actually a dress. What a crime against Nature.

The spiked heel / lace ankle sock combo -I wore this. Like, not for Halloween or anything. I should be taken out and flogged for that....
Just maybe I wore these with a fake leather skirt, or those super tight waist high acid-washed pants.
*runs away*
... and for my lace gloves, which I had in white, black, fingerless, and shoulder-length varieties. 
"Which gloves should I wear tonight?" 
"Let's see - how about NONE, since it is SUMMERTIME"
YES. Now my outfit is pulled together so I can go clubbing.
Short shorts for men. Sometimes in those neon colors. 
I sympathize - I can't believe you wore them either.
Designers, I"ll put up with your Fauxhawks, your strange aversion to sleeves, but if you hand me those gloves again, I swear to the Almighty that you will be pulling back a nub.