In a Fog

ou ever have those days where you’re just off your game? It’s not writers block per se, it isn’t that you can’t write, it’s just that your mind feels like it’s in a fog, you have ideas still, but their fuzzy, and writing them down is like pulling teeth. That is currently where I’m at, and it’s not just about my book either, although admittedly I haven’t written anything new in a few days, it’s largely about my blog, hence this post. I don’t think I have days like this often, where the thoughts that make writing possible, that ever present annoying voice that is creativity, that we often wish we could silence if only for a moment feels, silent. Or at the very least muffled. Ironically it is the most terrifying feeling I can imagine because it’s the feeling of possibility. Not good possibility like the possibility of some great event, it’s the possibility that you’ve lost it, forever. The possibility that muse has left and it will never come back. The possibility that every writer dreads.

It’s no coincidence (or at least not to my mind) that my head feels vaguely like it’s in a vice and it is the height of cold and flu season, so there’s a chance that I may be on the verge of a cold (I sincerely hope not) but then it’s better than the alternative. I don’t like this feeling, the hopeless possibility that I won’t be able to write again. It’s overdramatic perhaps, but when you spend as much time as I do working nonstop, doing something you love so much that you could not imagine having to actually do something else… it’s hard not to be dramatic when suddenly you can’t do that thing anymore because something is blocking you.