My Twelve Days of Christmas

Posted on December 17, 2012 by L. A. Lewandowski at Indies Unlimited.com

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

A bestseller in a pear tree

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

Abs like Brooklyn Decker

And a bestseller in a pear tree

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

Lunch with J.K. Rowling

Abs like Brooklyn Decker

And a bestseller in a pear tree

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

Lobster agnolotti

Lunch with J.K. Rowling

Abs like Brooklyn Decker

And a bestseller in a pear tree

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

Domination over Word!

Lobster agnolotti

Lunch with Joanne

Abs like Brooklyn Decker

And a bestseller in a pear tree

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

A 1966 Mustang

Domination over Word!

Lobster agnolotti

Lunch with Joanne

Abs like Brooklyn Decker

And a bestseller in a pear tree

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

A first serve like Serena

The one with the pony windows

Kicking Word’s butt!

Lobster anything

Hanging out with Jo

Abs like Brooklyn Decker

And a bestseller in a pear tree

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

Rich’s scary glasses

A first serve like Serena

Manual transmission

Word is my b—h!

Lobster ’til I’m sick

Hanging out with Jo

Abs like Brooklyn Decker

And a bestseller in a pear tree

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

Shooting guns with Kat

Rich’s scary glasses

A first serve like Serena

White leather interior

Word is my b—h!

Lobster everything

Hanging out with Jo

Abs like Brooklyn Decker

And a bestseller in a pear tree

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

A European sojourn

Shooting guns with Kat

Rich’s scary glasses

A first serve like Serena

Shiny black ‘Stang

Word is my b—h!

Feed me lobster, please

Chilling with Jo

Abs like Brooklyn Decker

And a bestseller in a pear tree

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

Cocktails with George Clooney

A European sojourn

Blasting cans with Kat

Rich’s scary glasses

A first serve like Serena

I really want that car

Word is my b—h!

Yummy lobster rolls

Chilling with Jo

Abs like Brooklyn Decker

And a bestseller in a pear tree

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

Peace within my family

Cocktails with George Clooney

A European Sojourn

Blasting stuff with Kat

Rich’s scary glasses

A first serve like Serena

Don’t forget the Mustang

Word is my b—h!

Lobster agnolotti

Bffs with Jo

Abs like Brooklyn Decker

And a bestseller in a pear tree

18 THOUGHTS ON “MY TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS”




Yvonne Hertzberger on December 17, 2012 at 11:40 am said:

Fun. 

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Lois Lewandowskion December 17, 2012 at 7:38 pm said:

Thanks. 

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avcarden on December 17, 2012 at 11:45 am said:

Great! 

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Lois Lewandowskion December 17, 2012 at 7:39 pm said:

Thanks, Audrey!

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Chris James on December 17, 2012 at 12:17 pm said:

Hmm… Makes me want lobster – yeah! 

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Lois Lewandowskion December 17, 2012 at 7:40 pm said:

Lobster pierogi? 

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Christie Meierz on December 17, 2012 at 12:30 pm said:

ROFL very clever! Nice!

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Lois Lewandowskion December 17, 2012 at 7:41 pm said:

I’m glad you enjoyed it. 

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KristaTibbs on December 17, 2012 at 12:44 pm said:

Luv it

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Lois Lewandowskion December 17, 2012 at 7:41 pm said:

Thanks, Krista!

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lynnecantwell7 on December 17, 2012 at 1:47 pm said:

Nice job! And I want that car, too!

Lynne (who is still working on forgiving her father for selling our ’67 Mustang)

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Lois Lewandowskion December 17, 2012 at 7:44 pm said:

I learned to drive on a ’66 Mustang Fastback, black, 3 speed. Unbelievable car. Yucky boyfriend. 

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Laurie Boris on December 17, 2012 at 2:30 pm said:

Love it, Lois! Now I want lobster and rockin’ abs… 

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Lois Lewandowskion December 17, 2012 at 7:45 pm said:

I can’t decide which I want more, the lobster or the abs …

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T.D.McKinnon on December 18, 2012 at 5:46 am said:

I hope you get all that you want for Christmas, Lois. In he spirit of fun, my personal feelings on your little ditty:

Peace with my family… hmmm… we used to all go to my mum’s, for just about every special occasion, including Christmas; I haven’t seen most of them since her funeral in 2004.

Cocktails with George? He’s a pretty cool guy, I could dig that.

The European sojourn? Yeah I suppose so… done it to death though!

Blasted plenty of stuff, to be honest I’m over it now; I didn’t know Kat was a gun nut but now you mention it she does portray all the signs.

Rich’s glasses, well… what can I say?

I certainly wouldn’t like to be receiving Serena’s first serve, that’s for sure.

Never owned a Mustang but I sold a couple when I worked at ‘Horseless Carriages’ in Sydney in 83, and I did have a ‘66’ Light Blue, 357, auto, as a drive car for a couple of weeks before I sold it.

I misread the next one at first (reading it as Domination over the world), eyesight getting a little dim, either that or the mind starting to go west; whichever, I’m not sure I get it?

Lobster: you’ve got me with anything sea food!

Lunch with JK Rowling? That would be interesting.

Got the abs, had them most of my life, they’re getting a bit old now but still there.

I don’t need to comment on the ‘Best Seller in a pear tree’; that speaks for itself.

Nice, festive post, Lois.

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Lois Lewandowski on December 18, 2012 at 11:10 am said:

Hello, T.D.!

Lol. I love your interpretation of my post.

My daughter would always say, “I dominated the audition” when she was in musical theatre. I have been trying, valiantly, to learn Word, and often need to seek remedial help. My desire to dominate is reserved to only a few areas in my life, Word software being one of them. A really smoking serve would be another.

I adored that Mustang. It had white leather interior and was pretty much stock. If I ever make a lot of money I’m going to find the exact same one.

The ab reference … I work very hard on mine but I think my cooking interferes. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday to you and yours. I’m glad you liked the post. My last one was too depressing for the holiday season.

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Hodge on December 21, 2012 at 8:52 am said:

Hilarious. I also misread the WORD domination thing at first as WORLD domination. Sorta reminds me of the old Steve Martin SNL thing “If I had only one wish for the world…” Heh. World domination works for me. Peace out. That’s an order.

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Lois Lewandowskion December 21, 2012 at 2:24 pm said:

I just saw a replay of the Steve Martin skit recently.

Thanks for stopping by, and Merry Christmas to you and your family.