The Author's ABCs
A: Art. That stuff that goes on the front of your book to make it look cool.
B: Book. That huge block of text that you've spent what feels like half your life obsessing over.
C: Cover. The place where you put the art that you hope will help propel book sales through the roof.
D: Dumb. What you yell at the computer when it crashes after you've been writing for hours and haven't saved anything.
E: Effort. It may not be the kind that makes you sweat, but it should count as exercise anyway.
F: Flash fiction. Those super-short stories that you enter in contests, hoping to get more attention for your writing.
G: Goodreads. The website you go to so you can connect with the millions of people who are going to read your work. Someday.
H: Horrible. The word you scream at the top of your lungs while erasing the worst chapter you've ever written in your life with the speed of a jet, in the hopes that no one will ever read such garbage again.
I: Imperfect. The manuscript you upload/send to a publisher, no matter how many ways/times you've edited.
J: Jail cell. What your office or work area turns into on a bad day.
K: Killer. A type of villain you may or may not write about.
L: Lazy. What family and/or friends may call you when you say 'I'm an author' in answer to their 'what kind of work do you do?' question.
M: Maniacal. A description of a laugh that may be heard when a character you despise gets what they deserve.
N: Noise. Something you either love or despise while you are writing.
O: Oops. A word you dread when it's spoken next to your computer.
P: Procrastination. May include stupid excuses to leave computer, video or computer games, and Facebook usage. No known cure.
Q: Quest. A typical story theme, usually seen in fantasy stories.
R: Redo. A painstaking process that requires you to do everything again, because you weren't satisfied the first time.
S: Sacrifice. Something a main character often does in any book with any sort of 'epic' theme.
T: Terrible. Another word to yell at the ceiling when in the grips of dissatisfaction with your work.
U: Underdog. Indie writers.
V: Victory. Someone bought your book, and so you dance around the room like a crazy person.
W: World. That place you created that you would now like to live in.
X: Xesturgy. The process of polishing - polishing a book, which takes a million years longer than polishing wood.
Y: Young adult. A genre you may or may not write for.
Z: Zero. A number that is deplorable when seen in your 'sales' column.
B: Book. That huge block of text that you've spent what feels like half your life obsessing over.
C: Cover. The place where you put the art that you hope will help propel book sales through the roof.
D: Dumb. What you yell at the computer when it crashes after you've been writing for hours and haven't saved anything.
E: Effort. It may not be the kind that makes you sweat, but it should count as exercise anyway.
F: Flash fiction. Those super-short stories that you enter in contests, hoping to get more attention for your writing.
G: Goodreads. The website you go to so you can connect with the millions of people who are going to read your work. Someday.
H: Horrible. The word you scream at the top of your lungs while erasing the worst chapter you've ever written in your life with the speed of a jet, in the hopes that no one will ever read such garbage again.
I: Imperfect. The manuscript you upload/send to a publisher, no matter how many ways/times you've edited.
J: Jail cell. What your office or work area turns into on a bad day.
K: Killer. A type of villain you may or may not write about.
L: Lazy. What family and/or friends may call you when you say 'I'm an author' in answer to their 'what kind of work do you do?' question.
M: Maniacal. A description of a laugh that may be heard when a character you despise gets what they deserve.
N: Noise. Something you either love or despise while you are writing.
O: Oops. A word you dread when it's spoken next to your computer.
P: Procrastination. May include stupid excuses to leave computer, video or computer games, and Facebook usage. No known cure.
Q: Quest. A typical story theme, usually seen in fantasy stories.
R: Redo. A painstaking process that requires you to do everything again, because you weren't satisfied the first time.
S: Sacrifice. Something a main character often does in any book with any sort of 'epic' theme.
T: Terrible. Another word to yell at the ceiling when in the grips of dissatisfaction with your work.
U: Underdog. Indie writers.
V: Victory. Someone bought your book, and so you dance around the room like a crazy person.
W: World. That place you created that you would now like to live in.
X: Xesturgy. The process of polishing - polishing a book, which takes a million years longer than polishing wood.
Y: Young adult. A genre you may or may not write for.
Z: Zero. A number that is deplorable when seen in your 'sales' column.
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