Ask Shallon: What High School Guys Are REALLY Like, As Told By One Direction

Dear Shallon,

Im entering high school in Fall 2013 and I’m very, very excited. Since I havent lived the reality of high school yet, I was wondering what the cold, hard truth of boys in high school. I want to know if they are sex/girl hungry? Are they are neutral and chill and will go after a girl he actually likes? Or both? And how do you handle each group of boys?

Warning: The guys at your school will NOT look like Zac Efron :/

The biggest thing to understand about HS dudes is that they’re at all different stages in terms of physical and emotional development. Some are already super mature and able to have a GF. Some are barely hitting puberty and still punch girls in the arm as a way of flirting. Some are just looking for as much sex as possible.

Basically, they’re the guys of One Direction:

The Good Guy: Louis Tomlinson

Most good dudes won't actually be carrying koalas. But, a lot of them will be.

Louis is a relationship dude. He always was and always will be. He doesn’t have that itch to slay as many chicks as possible. It’s obvious in the way he speaks, his manners–everything. It just oozes from him, the way Harry oozes pure sexual magnetism. The Louis are patient, they are respectful. They meet your dad with a firm handshake. They ask you out on proper dates, not just text “Sup” at midnight. True, there aren’t a lot of these guys in high school but there are some.

 

The Sex Hungry Playboy: Harry Styles

Oh he's not charging you for the condom? What a prince!

Harry is not a boyfriend type guy, at least not yet. A man reaches his sexual peak at 18 (!!!) but women don’t until age 32. Not every guy is as obvious about his horndog-status as Harry is, so to suss out whether or not your crush is just out to get in your pants, bluff him. Tell him you do not hook up. No sex before college for you. And don’t say it in a flirty way, like a challenge, nor when you two are already rolling around making out. It’ll be hard to resist at that point. It’s like going on a diet when the cake is already in the oven.

Instead, bring it up on the first date, casually but firmly: “Do you watch Teen Mom? OMFG what is with those girls. I’m going to wait until college to go all the way, who needs the drama?” See what he says or how he reacts, not necessarily in the moment but in the days and weeks after. If he stops calling or pulls away, that’s your answer.

And it has NOTHING to do with you. Honestly, it’s his hormones. Like when you’re PMS’ing and choose cookies over broccoli. It’s not broccoli’s fault. It’s just your hormones pulling you in a different direction.

 

The In-Betweener: Niall Horan

Goofy, funny, cute, confusing

Not exactly a playboy but not totally the BF type, Niall is the kind of dude who clearly likes you but just isn’t quite ready to be your boyfriend. You, as a girl, are (and always will be) way more mature than a guy. At any age. So you are ready to have a BF and, HELLO he likes you WTF is the problem? He’s like a toddler who wants to run, but just can’t yet. He doesn’t know how. He simply lacks the skills to make it happen. So he kind of flails around–dates here and there, but also flirts with other girls–and it can really break your heart.

A guy like this is ready for GF/BF status around age 21. Seriously. If not later. So if he’s all over the place, keep him as fun dating practice, maybe a fun hookup, but don’t get too invested in him. And DEFINITELY don’t sleep with him. I learned this the hard way, darlings.

Hope this all helps. Remember, when it comes to war, natural disasters or boys, forewarned is forearmed.

XOXO,

Shallon