Low Rate of Interest

Falling into my newest category of “Is this a thing now?” comes an article from the New York Times which must be read to be believed.

Apparently, the newest thing to ask when getting to know someone is what their credit score is. On a first date no less. Because honestly, who wants to waste time with someone who might not turn out to be perfect? Who’s got two thumbs and a 700 credit score? This girl.

This is aggravating on so many levels that I just can’t explain them all. Luckily for my past dates no one has ever asked me this question. My answer would have been a blank stare and a sharp retort. “My credit score is good enough that I can pay for my half of dinner and then never see you again.”

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t object to couples sharing financial information later on in courtship. Like when they’re discussing marriage or mingling finances in other ways. Asking on a first date would make me very afraid that I was dining with someone who was about to steal my identity.

I fear for my dating life in other ways as well. Have singe people become so paralyzed by “like” buttons and shortcuts to decision making that they are unable to make a decision about whether or not they like a human being? Because that’s what this question smacks of to me. Not that you are on this date to discover if we could like each other, but that you have a check list of reasons why you wouldn’t like me and you need to make sure I don’t fit into any of those categories before you make a time investment beyond appetizers.

In this article, the credit score is purported to be an “objective” indicator of a person’s financial past. In my opinion, we are all one terrible accident or illness away from a poor FICO score in this country, since something like 40% of delinquent debt is from unpaid medical expenses.*

There are even dating sites set up to cater to those people for whom the credit score is the end all, be all of romantic indicators, such as Datemycreditscore.com and creditscoredating.com.

The article tells the stories of hapless singles who have been blindsided by this stumbling block in their relationships. The story is the same every time, one partner is refusing to move forward with the other until the credit score is improved. The timing is anywhere from the first date to serious discussions of marriage. Kind of a subtextual* “for richer or poorer–unless it turns out to be poorer.”

While I disagree with the phrasing certainly, the whole credit score question does bring up a good point. In these difficult economic times, when so many of our young college graduates are starting their careers and dating lives with such a heavy debt burden and poor prospects, what is the responsibility of a person in a serious relationship to pick up those pieces? Does the reason why ever matter or is it just the number?

I believe (having never been tested in this regard) that I would wholeheartedly agree to make payments against debt incurred for a medical expense or education. I’m less sure where I stand on credit card debt for a partner that was racked up before I knew him.

With student loans of my own, it’s very easy to understand that as young adults we make decisions without understanding their consequences. But how much burden should I bear for a partners terrible decisions? I attended a state school because that was what I could afford, even with loans and scholarships. My younger brother was able to attend a middle-elite private school because he was at the end of the line and my parents had a lot more disposable income to help him. Even with their assistance he owes more than me in student loans by a factor of tens. Yet we make roughly the same income. Should our future life partners both smilingly agree to be responsible for those decisions even though the amount is significantly higher for my brother’s loans?

So while my knee jerk reaction is to say this is a ridiculous question, I guess that for someone who knows that they are unwilling to take on someone else’s debt, it is valid to express that early and often. The first date still feels too soon to me though. I can definitely say that asking it alone would lower my rate of interest.

*Factoid taken from sketchy internets and not verified. Repeat at your own risk!

*Subtextual is not a word…yet.